Globster Press

Blasting

2011-12-11T01:19:00.002-05:00

Hello all. I've been hard at work on my book. It's a part of the Black Worm (the title of which will remain secret for now). I've been working on this comic for a number of years. How many, I still cannot figure out. The main narrative is at least four years old. There are earlier portions that date back to about ten years ago. There are many other elements that may be even older. I'm sure it will make more sense if you ever see it.
At the rate that I'm going (that was just a gunshot down the street) I'm averaging a page a week with a steady job. That means I'll be dead before I finish. I hope those gunshots do'nt get any closer. The above image is a component of one page. It wo'nt look as fuzzy as this in the final product, however. That is my main character taking a stroll through a dilapidated town.
Oh well....I guess I'll keep pushing onward. See you around another blasted new year....

Ch E w

Here it is! Just in time for the cold season!

2011-11-06T18:01:00.000-05:00

C...H...E...W...

Roman Holiday

2011-10-26T15:28:00.000-04:00

2011 Oktober Fluke Report

2011-10-17T09:07:00.001-04:00

OKTOBERFLUKE WAS ... well, to be honest it wasn't awesome. It was okay. Here's the good, the bad and the ugly:

The Good: We tabled next to Patrick and Robert (The Fluke Organizers) and had some very interesting conversations about children, music, racism, Spiderman and mutants. Later, I saw the cover that Patrick drew for Athens' Flagpole Magazine. It looked really good. Kudos.

The Poptober Fair venue in Athens' Civic Center was a huge space. Chew and I created a new table display, and I have to admit, our table looked pretty good. Before we left Athens, we had pizza and beer at Little Italy – the slices are thick, huge, cheesy and cheap. My kind of place.

The Bad: I have to admit that I have, until now, always taken Patrick and Robert's efforts to promote Fluke for granted – the Flagpole coverage, the posters and flyers everywhere, a venue in the heart of downtown Athens, cheap admission for the general public, their social network updates ... the list goes on and on. It's no wonder that attendance for Fluke has grown every year. Unfortunately, the folks who organized the Poptober Fair did not do the same ...

The venue was in the basement level of the Civic Center. There was no access to this venue except for a side street, half of which was closed for construction and the other half was used periodically for fund-raising marathons. There were no signs. No posters. No advertisement. No ads or coverage in Flagpole. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. If you didn't already know about this fair, you weren't going to stumble across it. And if you did go, you had to pay $5 at the front door. The attendance was poor. I don't think anybody did well (except the vintage record swap guys).

Oktoberfluke was Fluke's ugly little step-sister. And that's okay. They can't all be winners. I am not placing any of this at Patrick or Robert's feet. I just never realized how much they did to make Fluke successful. Thanks guys.

The Ugly: Headaches, nausea, no sleep, and the loooong dark drive back home.

And Finally: I am really looking forward to Fluke 2012. She's pretty. She's tall. And best of all, she puts out. A lot.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by, bought books, or said hello. We'll see you again next year!

Chew, feel free to add your two cents when you get a chance.

Optimistically and understandingly yours,

Jeff Tuffenstuff

Duhh!

2011-10-17T08:05:00.000-04:00

Don't be shy. We don't bite (hard). Stand around, chat, get to know us, buy our stuff, bring your friends, talk shop, or whatever! We look forward to seeing you ...

It's Fantastic!

2011-10-14T19:10:00.013-04:00

It's the first collaboration between Jeff Tuffenstuff and Chew! It's Flex Fantastic ... a hero's journey through murky, nebulous and watery folds to find his sidekick, Klepto the flying-wonder-dog! This is the one that started it all. Buy it and finally read what everyone is hardly talking about ... Oh Vey!

'Tis the Season ...

2011-10-13T07:11:00.003-04:00

It's the Hairball Christmas Special and the holidays are just around the corner ... so, buy someone this book already! It's perfect stocking stuffer for someone geek-chic and weird. Because you care. You really, really care ...

Oh No He Diddin' ...

2011-10-12T10:02:00.001-04:00

Oh yes he did! Now if this depiction of hillbillies is too close to home ... well, then you probably shouldn't pick up Chew's Hillbilly Chic. It's grody. It's grimy. It's got a headless chicken. And lots and lots of Hillbillies. Did I mention the headless chicken?

Total Carnage ...

2011-10-11T07:10:00.004-04:00

Yes, we have the entire comic featured in our comics section of this blog, but it's not really the same as owning it. The feel of smooth paper in you hands, the smell of ink, the shiny metallic staples gingerly impaling the book's spine ... uhm, too far? Besides, don't you want to own the book that will have a sequel so huge it's taken us over a year and a half to plot the stupid thing? Of course you do.

Dunn Dun Dunn ...

2011-10-10T14:02:00.000-04:00

This one is one of my favorites. This issue of Hairball is devoted to Oink's grade school crush. Chew has knocked this one out of the park. And it's kid friendly to boot. Buy it for a kid. Buy it for your kids. Buy it for yourself. JUST BUY IT! (Okay, I admit, it's not exactly subtle advertising, but c'mon ... the book is really that good)

Curse of Cupcakes ...

2011-10-07T11:01:00.000-04:00

Yes, of course you should buy Chew's latest foray into the critically acclaimed Hairball series (who's the critic? Me!). A fuzzy, spoiled creamy cheese frosting curse on you for taking so long to pick up a copy (special solicitor's note: all hexes are removable upon purchase at the Globster Press table).

The Daddy of all Sequels ...

2011-10-06T08:42:00.000-04:00

The epic collaboration between Chew and Jeff that reached a climax so chilling, so powerful ... well, okay. Maybe it's not that chilling. In fact, our hero Flex Fantastic isn't even in half of the book. But a city gets destroyed, a goddess is reborn and we introduce S.M.A.C.K.: the sorriest and worst bunch of super powered men ever assembled. Oh, plus there's a special cameo from an old friend. And our fan-favorite ... Klepto the dog. Ruff' said.

Here's Johnny ...

2011-10-05T08:28:00.001-04:00

We're comin' ...

2011-10-04T08:52:00.002-04:00

That's right. We're gonna be at Oktoberfluke this year! And we've got goodies. You know you want 'em. Question: how do you feel about folk art? Well, your opinion's not that important. Wanna know how Chew feels? Then come by and pick up Fokey Dokes ...

Meet the Witch

2011-10-01T11:28:00.000-04:00

Well, there's not much to say. Things have been extremely busy here in the Land of the Globster. Life has been doing it's thing where it seems to prevent us from working too much on our comics. We are trudging on, albeit very slowly.
Good news, though. We will be attending OktoberFLUKE in Athens, Ga. on Saturday October 15. It will be a part of the Athens Popfest...which will include many, many bands, the Indie Craftstravaganzaa, FLUKE Mini-Comics and Zine Festival, and the Secret Record Swap.
I believe we will be located in the Classic Center. Here's a link!
http://athenspopfest.com/

Be there or be.....

Chew

Star Warts Part Two: When sand crabs unite...

2011-08-17T08:07:00.000-04:00

It's part two of the Star Wars challenge....
Cheese and I originally did this several years ago. At the time, I was still drawing with technical pens. I had a knack for going on and on and sometimes overdoing it with those things. Plus, I was also beginning to have serious pains in my hand (I have since switched over to brush, and now actively fight against my desire to fill up every nook and cranny with lines).
When we originally thought it up, it was "Which character would you be in that universe?" We really could'nt figure out, so the challenge became "If you could be anyone, anything in that universe....who would you be?"
I decided to go for something utterly ridiculous and wondered 'what would happen to a sandperson should they fall towards the dark side? Are they capable of such a thing? Are they already there or are they not intelligent enough to'....bah! I went with it. There you go. Evil sandperson. He's a rat.

AND....as it so happens, I never cared for the names of the Sith in the Star Wars universe (Darth SIDIOUS? Please! What about Darth Bored? They are that silly). I wanted something with a little flash that might indicate that there are more THAN JUST TWO SITH IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. SOME ARE HIDING OUT IN PLACES YOU ARE NOT EXPECTING AND....

Oh yeah, I have issues about the whole series. I'm old and jaded and ranting....

Chew.

Star Wars Challenge: Ova Skado

2011-08-09T16:49:00.004-04:00

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Chew and Mr. Cheese challenged one another: If you could be anyone in the Star Wars Universe, who would you be? They showed their finished drawings to their friends, and all were amazed ...

Ever since I saw the results of this challenge, I've wanted to throw my hat in to the ring and see what I could come up with.

I fell in love with Jaxxon when I was a kid. The idea of a six-foot green bunny kicking ass in the Star Wars universe spoke to me (I want a maquette and I want him to appear in Clone Wars). Jaxxon is a Lepi (a species, which to my knowledge, were created during the original Marvel Comics series). So I drew Ova Skado, a Lepi on the run, stealing medical equipment from the Empire, to sell to Jabba the Hutt, so he can feed his youngins' and, if there's some credits left over, fix up his modified Speederbike and get a sweet paint job to impress all of the skanky strippers at the next unsanctioned Pod Race on Tatooine. I guess he's ...

... wait for it ...

Fast and Furry-ious

– Jeff Tuffentstuff

It's been a while, I know-know-know, but we're here, so let's go-go-go...

2011-08-01T17:49:00.000-04:00

This is a well known saying coined by the famous Dwarvish therapist, Lord Hari Hullfire. Lord Hari was much in demand during the Hydrid War. The shock of seeing such hideous creatures threw many a warrior into instant gag reflexes. Oh wait, we have'nt delved into that little bit of Bistran history yet, have we?

---------------------------------------------------CHEW

Work Station One

2011-06-21T07:51:00.001-04:00

Is'nt it great when the simplest things turn into some of the most difficult and time consuming?

Chew.....

Thirty Hours: The HeroesCon Report

2011-06-06T07:20:00.000-04:00

I slept horribly last night. It seemed like every hour I would wake up and I'd start to hum "Lovin' Every Minute of It" by Loverboy. It was a big hit back in 1985. The 1980's sort of set the theme for our trip to Charlotte, North Carolina to visit HeroesCon.

Thursday morning of last was an especially hectic one for me at work. Lunch rolls around...and so did the road! Off we went, North/Northeast to those succulent 80's sounds. We talked a lot, which was good, because that trip was (THANKFULLY) uneventful. Not really much to see, aside from Atlanta and a couple of lakes.
We stayed at a skanky motel somewheres in the wild wastelands of southern Charlotte. If ever there was that movie hotel you did'nt want to stay in because of all the hijinks you knew were going to happen there, that was it. But nothing ever happened. Except for insomnia.
I swear, the ick in that room was palpable.
Then we went out to eat that night. Food, and hearty grog (at least for me), and hanging out and then the bottom of Jeff's water glass just comes right off. The whole bottom half of it. Water and ice all over everywhere!
The Con. Got there early. Coffee, bagel, long lines. Tickets. Waiting, waiting, waiting. We finally get in and it's a big room full of comics as well as the people who make them and the people who sell them. I gotta tellya, after having visited DragonCon frequently for the past dozen years, it was nice to finally see a con devoted to comics (nothing against DragonCon, really. It can be a lot of fun).
We saw Patrick Dean and the guys from Fluke and said hi. Then went over to see Chris Schweizer. He had a really great booth set up. They had lots of cool stuff to go through!
There were a lot of other other guys whose names were familiar-both big and small. Neal Adams, Becky Cloonan, and Farel Dalrymple are a few examples. Then there were some people who were supposed to be there, but we either did'nt see them, or we temporarily hit a blind spot where that person's existence was just passed over. Like they had an unintentional cloaking device! Or maybe it was intentional.

Plus, they had actual cels from Akira! We could see those.

We tooled around. Went and had a pizza with a bunch of yuppie-types. Went back and sat in on a lecture given by Chris Schweizer. It was the comic book Composition class that we never had in school! It gave us some stuff to think about. Thanks, Chris!
Then....we hit the road.
To Charlotte and back, in thirty hours!

Chew

Flex Fantastic is back!

2011-05-25T07:00:00.004-04:00

Not really. But he did get some new stuff though.

– Jeff Tuffenstuff

Dr. Mullet: Redneck M.D.

2011-05-21T21:38:00.000-04:00

.....................................................chew

Fluke 2011 Report (Part 3)

2011-05-19T13:53:00.001-04:00

There were several books I picked up or traded for at Fluke and wanted to share these with you (clockwise from the top):

Beard by Pranas T. Naujokaitis: I am so impressed with this book's cover design, it's ridiculous. It's a wrap-around cardboard, screenprinted beard that (when dislodged and pulled from the main character's face) opens to reveal 16 page B/W story that's about a man and his ... beard. A beard that can practically do anything. The ending was hilarious.

The Beast Mother by Eleanor Davis: I've heard nothing but good things about this book. I finally purchased a copy and I have to say it lives up to it's reputation. The story is somber, well paced, thoughtful and a little icky (but in a good way). It's just well done. Oh and the cover ... screenprinted, die-cut goodness. Inspiring.

Chalk Talk by Lauren Sparks: I can only assume that this was a class project completed at SCAD based on the opening credits of the book. I really liked it. It's short and sweet, maybe a little too short but I found the story and art to be very engaging. I've seen really bad examples of inkwashes in a lot of self published comics. Washes can make the art look too dark or muddy. Lauren on the other hand, shows an amazing amount of control and her characters really pop from the background. This book was a good trade. Thanks, Lauren!

Eleanor Davis' Sketchbook Beouija: I've become a fan of her work. Check out her website.

The Fluke Anthology: A free give away at Fluke for all attendees. I've mentioned this one in my previous post, but if you're attending a mini-con and happen to see this book ... buy it. Besides featuring "Harold," a five page story drawn by Chew and myself (shameless plug) it features "Robot Love" by Joey Weiser and "Sasquatch" by Kevin Burkhalter and Falynn K which are my favorites in this anthology.

And ...

Rashy Rabbit by Josh Latta: I love Josh's character design. His characters are so well thought out and distilled, he can't mess them up. They gesture wildly, have great body language and display a wide array of emotions. Great inks too. Josh's work is very reminiscent of Spirou and a lot of the older french children/adventure comics (and that is meant as a compliment). It's good stuff. I can't wait to pick up another book. Go and check it out.

So that's it for Fluke report. See you there next year!

– Jeff Tuffenstuff

Many Ghosts of Ohia

2011-05-10T07:19:00.000-04:00

The last few weeks have been tumultuous to say the least. I was finally able to go on vacation back to the old homestead in Ohio, which was good....but also a little sad. Things have changed so much up there. I return feeling totally unfocused and unable to concentrate. My mom, who went with me, has expressed the same sensation.
What's interesting is that a comic that I've been working on for years has a segment that takes place in this area. I ended up seeing some of the places I've been drawing from a twenty-plus year memory. It's more depressing than I remembered, but it was also cold and rainy. Plus, we went to a nursing home and a couple of cemeteries to visit our ghosts. What do you expect, after all?
The good news is that my long lost brother, Viruss, and I have reconnected! It's only been twenty-one years. He's basically a bigger version of me. Our brains work in a similar manner. Heck, we even have the same hairstyle! That means there are two of us running around. You should be afraid...cuz we really do'nt care what you think about us.
I also met my two younger cousins and was big brother to them for an evening. Lots of tree climbing and hill walking. It was kind of nice to just sit in a big, green field of grass and hang out. We skipped stones in a mud hole and found the skeleton of a cow that was struck by lightning.
So, really, the good definitely outweighed the bad. Thank god for those three guys up there (and my brother's new family) because all of that other stuff was a little tough.
I leave with more resolution about finishing my book and dealing with the Black Worm.

I'm just a little unfocused for the moment...

Chew

Fluke 2011 Report (Part 2)

2011-05-02T16:58:00.001-04:00

The chronicle continues. In pictures. A special thanks to Roger for taking these ...

Chew and Jeff in front of 40watt

Inside the 40watt club

Chew, Klay and Jeff

The Fluke 2011 Report

2011-04-27T21:25:00.004-04:00

What can I possibly say to sum up our experience at Fluke this year? It was ... AWESOME! Alright. So on with the report:

I got up at 3:45 A.M. to get ready and pick up Chew and Klay Hillz. After several cups of coffee and a few good-morning-I'm-to-tired-raise-my-hand-high-fives we left Columbus and headed for Athens at 5:15 A.M. We rocked out to Chew's new and soulful 80's mix-tape: Horseradish Hairnets Part I (featuring the likes of Hall & Oates, Prince, Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson, and Sheila E.). We stopped for Gas and Donuts and discussed Geek topics. We finally arrived in Athens at 8:30 A.M. (I'm sure we could have gotten there sooner, but I obnoxiously observed the speed limit -- sorry, Klay).

There was already a line at the 40watt club and it continued to grow as we stood waiting. By 10:45 A.M. we estimated about 60 to 70 people were in line trying to get tables. If there is no pre-registration next year, I would really suggest (to anyone reading this and planning on going) to arrive early. We rented a whole table this year due to Chew's non-stop-I-need-to-create-comics-and-art-all-day-long pathological tendencies (yes, I'm jealous). Yep. That's right. Chew had (count 'em) five new books on display this year. Klay spent the three weeks leading up to Fluke printing Chew's books. Chew's books look amazing. If you haven't picked up a copy, I'm telling you, you're missing out.

Speaking of books, we made it into the Fluke Anthology this year! Our little five-page story is titled Harold and starts on page 12. The anthology features stories by Drew Weing, Joey Weiser, Falynn K & Kevin Burkhalter, David Mack (and many others) and is full of comic book goodness.

Athens was like a ghost town this year (Easter weekend). Not so inside the 40watt club. With an attendance of over 400 people this year, you could feel the entire place buzzing with excitement. We sold, we laughed, had some coffee, and met some really cool people. Chew left for an hour and sold more books during his absence then when he was behind the table (I think it's part of his sales strategy). Fluke wrapped up a little before 6 P.M. and we headed over to Bizarro Wuxtry and sold some more of our books – and immediately spent the money on their graphic novel collection.

We stopped for dinner at Little Italy and attempted to eat a 18"x18" super- thick-deep-dish-crust pepperoni pizza. We're grown men. And we were hungry. We stuffed ourselves and still had two slices left over!

We left Athens at 8 P.M. Chew and Klay let me listen to the original 13 part NPR Star Wars Radio Drama on the way back and I got giddy like a 11 year-old school girl and I was totally geeking out. We stopped for some more coffee (which was horrible), talked about the day and listened to Klay snore softly in the backseat.

I'd like to thank a couple of people before I wrap this up:

Patrick Dean and friends: Thank you for creating such a cool event. Chew and I look forward to coming every year and it's getting better and bigger every single year. You guys have created something special.

Steve: Thank you for the Blake 7 DVD collection. For you to remember our conversation last year and go through all of the trouble ... you rock. Send me your e-mail and address. You're getting free books for life.

Roger (Our fan club president): It's one thing to buy our books when they come out. It's a whole other thing to drive 3 and half hours and bus friends to Athens to support the home team. Thank you. Roger is relocating to New York next week, so we wish him the best of luck and much deserved success.

Klay: Thanks for printing all the books and coming along. It would not have been the same without you. Hopefully, you all will see some of Klay's comics next year (nudge, nudge).

The Car Rental Company: Thanks for upgrading the car for free when you ran out of compacts. The upgrade was a gas-guzzler but it was roomy, quiet and comfortable.

The wives and kids: Thanks for letting us be geeks, letting us go, and sitting patiently as we recount the day's awesomeness in excruciating detail during breakfast the next day.

The Aztecs, Incas and/or any South American Indian Tribe: Whichever tribe started brewing and guzzling coffee first ... Thank you. This trip would have been impossible without drinking large amounts of hot, steamy Java.

And finally:

Thanks to everyone who came by our table. Whether you bought a book, traded or just stopped by to say hello, we really appreciate it and hope to see you next year.

Fluke rocks.

– Jeff Tuffenstuff

Chew's workin' the table

Our table at Fluke

Klay's reading his free Fluke Anthology

Club President Roger and Dan

And we're off!

2011-04-22T19:36:00.000-04:00

We're going to Fluke tomorrow! Chew has several new books for sale. Come check out our table and buy stuff! See you there!

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

Monkey Paw

2011-04-05T17:46:00.000-04:00

Whew! It's been super-busy out there! I had me a deadline to finish up a couple of covers for my brand new HAIRBALLS! I know all three of you are very excited. Jeff and I have been trying to gear up for the upcoming FLUKE, which will be on April 23rd in Athens, Ga. More info to come on that.
Then there have been the travails of life, which always like to pop up and either make things really, really irksome or uber-complex. Or both.
Whoa! I think I'm on the verge of passing out. I...think...I...shall....

C----H-----E-----W

Vinnie-Gar the Barbarian

2011-03-10T20:39:00.000-05:00

I recently purchased the entire series of Thundarr the Barbarian. It was cartoon that ran from 1980-81, then was shown again from 1981-82 (when I saw it). It lasted all of two giant seasons. Twenty one episodes!
The cartoon features, naturally, a barbarian named Thundarr who is accompanied by sidekicks Princess Ariel the sorceress and Ookla the Mok. Ookla (my absolute fave) is a big wookie-like cat who screams a lot and breaks things. The show is set some two thousand years in the future, where science and sorcery intermix like bad food at a party.
You can imagine how insane a nine year old me must have gone over a show like that. Insane enough for a late thirty-something to buy it years later!
As fun as the show has been, there are a couple of gripes I have.

One: The animation is sub par. Veteran comic dudes Alex Toth and Jack Kirby worked on production designs for the show, which is kind of a big deal. But the animation, though not as bad/funny as the Star Trek cartoon, is pretty down there.

Two: No blood. I am now a jaded, corrupt, bloodthirsty adult (who is actually pretty squeamish). I want blood. I want decapitations. I want dismemberment. I want to see the Rat-king being drawn and quartered. I want to see the evil wizard Morag blow a hole through a puny human. I know it's a cartoon for kids...but still!

So I drew this. Not really Thundarr, but another mindless barbarian doing what he does best. Killing something he does not like or understand.

Give me MORE!!!!

Chewy

Head City

2011-03-02T18:15:00.000-05:00

It's been a crappy couple of weeks here in the Land of Globster. There has been death, disease, and impairment -both mental and physical. The good news is that I am appearing in a short film, I've seen a lot of beautiful women, and we have a NEW little project that we are working on. It's too early to talk much about it. So instead, take the above image as a hint.
And know this...we are very excited with it!

Chew...

It's CHARF!

2011-02-12T11:43:00.000-05:00

Charf is an eggroll that went bad, so he decided to become a pirate.

Ch-Ch-Chew

Bunnies in Hell

2011-02-04T12:26:00.000-05:00

This is the first appearance of my character Remy. He has since been inducted in the Hairball universe as a hopeless sad sack sort of guy that nobody really likes or respects. I suppose he has a tendency to try to make people like him, but he overdoes it. Yet, somehow, inexplicably, they let him hang around them.
Another interesting thing about this image is that I will occasionally dip into this theme I call "Bunnies in Hell." It seems to surface every few years. These bunnies will start appearing in my drawings as either victims or victimizers. They can evoke disgust or sympathy. I'm really not sure what it all signifies yet.
I do have a sense that the bunnies will be returning in a Hairball sooner rather than later.
Remy, of course, will always be around for a beating.

Until next time, Globbies...

Chew

Scar Central is right around the corner

2011-01-28T06:33:00.000-05:00

'Tis Scarbuncula, Lord of all the Scar Tissues!
This was one of several covers that I was
working on for Hairball a few years back...

The year spills forth like buckets of rain

2011-01-16T20:50:00.000-05:00

Whiskeytown

Well, hello friends! It really has been too long. Is the year going well for you so far?
Jeff and I have been busy over the holidays. That's why you have'nt heard from us in a while. But like all things, it's time to get rolling again.
For my part, I have been on break from the end of November, almost all of December, and the beginning of January. First, I spent about half a week in the studio, several days dogsitting, and then ended up out in California. There, I stayed and traveled with friends. I went to Sacramento, Redding, Chico, San Francisco, Berkeley, and even up to Oregon! I rode on planes, trains, vans, and cars. Did a fair amount of walking in the cold, cold rain as well (Berkeley was in a downpour). I saw many wonderful and horrible sights. Really, too much to detail in one sitting. It was definitely a great way to end the year.
Since coming back, I have been busy working on The Black Worm. I also managed to acquire a lousy sinus infection which knocked me out of the studio and into the bed for a spell.
Jeff and I will be getting back to our opus soon enough. Lots of plans for the new year means lots of work! So, we will be seeing you all very soon....

chew

The Kettle of the Monk

2010-12-12T12:28:00.000-05:00

Having an Obsidian Stout in the Mission district, San Francisco.

It's...

2010-11-27T21:33:00.000-05:00

Mentioned, but not seen in Flex Fantastic: Doggone Troubles. His wife, Mandy, was seen speaking on the phone to Flex's girlfriend, Susan Smucker. I guess ol' Monty really was out saving kittens after all...

A Knot of Scabs

2010-11-21T11:09:00.002-05:00

This is Dewclaw. He's a Maublet from the Peliotes. Specifically, he is from the island of Iola located deep within the archipelago.
For those of you who have seen Carnage Cream, he's the guy you hardly ever see who is wearing the big helmet with horns.
For this new comic, he is the medic/cleric of the group. Too bad his religion is alien to his comrades. Sometimes they simply do'nt understand his analogies. But, they do appreciate him for this widely known fact: Maublets are medicinal.
You see, since they have descended from toads, many of these people have exciting chemical properties. Some are psychoactive, some are poisonous, and some make you drowsy. This is why a lot of Maublets are hired out as mercenaries, medics, apothecaries, and/or assassins.
Most folks think that licking a Maublet is the way to procure the venom. In actuality, one has to pop a wart to suck the juices, ingest several of the scabs, or drink form the parotoid glands (which reside in place of nipples).
So...why are all of the Maublets letting people lick them??? They're perverts. It's also a good way to assassinate someone. Plus, human saliva is a natural moisturizer.

As you can probably infer from the text above, a common slur thrown at a Maublet is "scab". Most people just do'nt understand what it means to live with dry skin all of the time.

Chewisdope

Bring forth your toad riders!

2010-11-14T06:44:00.000-05:00

Throughout the Peliotes, toads have been harnessed as the primary source of transportation. Maublets use giant toads for travel, hauling wagons and coaches, as well as plowing farmlands. They also have a cavalry of toads ready for war.
The ride can be a little jolting, but it has been effective enough for the Maublet civilization to thrive...

Chew

The Peliotes

2010-11-08T13:30:00.001-05:00

Two Maublets, or Peliotians, in traditional clothing.

Out beyond the western shores of Natamer, just past Imbernia (or part of, depending on where you're standing), right in the middle of the Peliottan Sea, lies the Peliotian Archipelago....or more commonly, the Peliotes.
This island chain is made up of thousands of islands, islets, and rocky outcroppings. Each island is unique in its own way. There are a great variety of flora and fauna to be found here! But despite all of its differences, toads of varying sizes and shapes can be found throughout most of the Peliotes.
Along with the toads are the local inhabitants. A society of human-like creatures that descended from the long line of toads. So, they are often called the Toad People. Or the Peliotians or....
Well, truth be told, due to the Peliotians being spread out across a lot of islands, you find that each clan has its own personality and variation based off of the general society that can be found throughout the entire archipelago. Because of this, there is an ongoing disagreement about what to call the walking/talking folks that live there. They actually had several wars in the past over what to call themselves. Never really solved.
Usually, a Peliotian will insist on themselves and all other Peliotians (except those which they do'nt like, who get special distinction) as being from the island of their birth. For instance, someone from Faralon will insist that all Peliotians are actually called Faralonians. Except for the scum from Pawpaw. THEY are merely Pawpawians. And who does'nt hate them???
But really, most of these beings are called Maublets by the outside world (except by outsiders who are married to Peliotians). This is because the island of Maub is considered to be the birthplace of all of the Toad People. It is from there that they rose. It is that island which is sacred to them.
Plus they never stop talking about the place. It comes up at least once in every conversation with a mainlander. So, it stuck.
Maublets, ya'll.

Chew

Just in time for Halloween! It's the Hargon Special Pin up!

2010-10-30T18:39:00.000-04:00

Hargon the Boor and the Mighty Aphrodite

Chew me up into very little pieces, spit me up and Chew me again

There's another Queen at the party...

2010-10-22T06:43:00.000-04:00

This is Arioux, the Black Queen.
She likes liquorice and black jackets.
Together, with Philippe, they rule the Pretty High 90-90 House.

Chew

The Queen has come to claim his throne

2010-10-18T07:04:00.002-04:00

This is Philippe the White Queen. He is a fixture at the Pretty High 90-90 House...which is a large, ramshackle Victorian-styled house where eccentric people come together to party. Nicknamed the "Bunny Huggers", many of these individuals seem to exhibit a flair for the 1920's era.

They also have a propensity to polish off a mixed drink, know as a gush. This is gin and garlic juice.

Philippe is one of two queens of the ball. His costume is made out plastic bubble wrap...which kind of sparkles in the light. People love to pop his bubbles.

This drawing was done several years ago with ink and...magic marker, of all things.

This is all a part of the Worm.

Chew

Kip Klondike

2010-10-13T15:22:00.000-04:00

Here's the promotional art (and possibly the cover) for Kip Klondike, my little comic book project for the rest of this year. I will post a few panels here or there, depending on my progress. Uhm ... oh yeah! Before I forget. Expect this blog to undergo some drastic changes very soon. All I can say is ... it's gonna look better. A lot better. Possibly a store too?

Muar har har har ... koff, koff!

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

Globster's Incredible Bad Movie Rating System versus the Giant Sucking Wound Part Second and a half

2010-10-10T14:58:00.000-04:00

I've devised a rating system based off of how a movie makes me feel...instead of how it makes me think. The movies that fall under these parameters will be horror, sci-fi, fantasy, exploitation, grindhouse, eurosleaze, trash, B and Z grade films....you get the idea.

There is no numerical score or symbol. From high to low, there is only a title to define my feelings towards a particular piece of cinema.

FACE MELT = It's Amazing! You make people watch this movie.

SEMI HIT = You never saw it coming.

MAGGOT STORM = It eats you up. It's so bad, it's good.

SPARKLING BODY SHOWER = Yeah, it has its moments. It's a pretty decent flick.

HATCHET HEAD = Average. Pedestrian. Nothing Special.

DEVOURED BY DOGS = A disappointment. You may end up liking it or hating it, but somehow you feel cheated.

EYE GOUGE = What the hell was that???

INTESTINAL PURGE = You gag.

HELL HOUSE = You are ready to destroy the very film you are watching and everything associated with it.

SAWDUST = Boring, boring, boring.

FLESH EATER = Unwatchable.

Plus....

A REALLY astonishing scene in a movie, good or bad, can merit the "MINI-MELT" rating. For example, the vomit scene in 'The Exorcist', or the face-melting scene in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' could be considered Mini-Melts. Like a FACE MELT, but smaller!

Chew's your fate!

Choose...choose...

Superbad ...

2010-10-08T14:08:00.000-04:00

Like Chew, I'm taking a small break from Carnage Cream. So if you liked the weird wackiness and just plain strangeness of the characters in Flex Fantastic ... Gilbert Goo's for you. My posts will be a bit more sporadic for the rest of the year. I'm focusing my energies on a new project, which if everything goes according to plan, I will debut at Fluke next year. Wish me luck!

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

REvolt!

2010-10-01T13:58:00.001-04:00

This is M.R. and his friend Speicher (in the window, goofing off). They live together in a squat along with Spider, Celia, and a basset hound named Rolando. Many others drift in and out of the place, but the four remain the core group.
After M.R.'s girlfriend broke up with him, he kind of lost it. He quit his job and became a road rat. During one of his journeys, he met Spider, who was going to see his sister Celia (and Rolando). She was squatting in an abandoned house she found in outer suburbia. Spider invited him to stay at the squat...now dubbed Rolando's House. Shortly after settling in, Celia invited Speicher and his girlfriend Ann-Elise to join them.
Ann-Elise, unfortunately, had a myriad of drug related problems and promptly vanished.
Speicher stayed and the group became a family.
These characters came to me in a dream entitled "Do'nt Eat Rolando". Yes, it actually had a title.
M.R. is perhaps one of the most important characters in The Black Worm. He is a fairly competent artist who shunned art school because of its "rigid structure" and "myth-perpetuating institutionalization".
He enjoys drawing all of the weirdos he sees skulking around his neighborhood. To his great joy, he discovered a "colony of furverts" several streets away from Rolando's House.

Interestingly, I have absolutely no plans to feature M.R. in a comic.

2010-09-25T15:54:00.000-04:00

Maggy Muckalee

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you may have noticed that Jeff and I have been totally geeked up about this new Carnage Cream project we have been working on. It is the culmination of years worth of interests enjoyed by us and a few friends, as well as that which sparked the mountains of derision heaped upon us by others.
So...I thought a little change was in order.
Aside from continuing on our D&D/LOTR-styled parody (which, incidentally, has grown like a large post-it shaped fungus on my dining room walls, and the 5 by 6 foot map of Secunda Terra growing on my hallway wall), I have also been working on my other project, The Black Worm. I am several pages into two books for this series. I would like to be able to finish one up before the next Fluke, but I ca'nt promise anything. We'll see how things turn out. I should have two new Hairballs and a totally new title (completely unrelated to everything else, but a sort of companion piece to Flex Fantastic.... sorta) by then.
The image you see above is from the Worm. Her name is Maggy Muckalee. She is one of the major-minor characters in the series. She is a Riverling, a semi-aqautic river person, as well as the caretaker of Edith Fishbinder.
You might see her in a book one day.

Chew.

Creamy Goodness

2010-09-24T16:42:00.001-04:00

A giant slime mold cultivated and grown over a century in old Zwieback's castle. No one can remember exactly why the project was started or what it was for. When the slime mold was accidentally rediscovered by Kaweezel, a young wizard-in-training, it was locked away in the lower levels of the catacombs, trapped and left to rot for all eternity. But rotting is something mold seems to thrive on ...

Beware the secret door. Beware!

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

2010-09-20T06:50:00.000-04:00

"Beneath the bones of shattered homes
The Whiskers lie in wait,
For the Fusty hordes who do adore
A Whisker on a stake..."

from the Whisker Poems

....CHEW....

Born under a Bad Sign

2010-09-16T16:58:00.002-04:00

Grizzlebeard, practicing with his favorite
throwing axe: Cleaver III

It's no big secret that Rootbeard the Ranger is my favorite character in the Carnage Cream-verse so far. I have a special place for Flik and Hippalonia in my heart, but Rootbeard ... that dude is just fun to draw. And because I loooove him so much ... I'm going to bore you with his family history! You're welcome!

All real rangers trace their family roots (ha! get it?) to Lonebeard, the Ranger. He explored, kicked butt and tamed wild beasts. And decided his sons and their sons should do it too. A few centuries later and a little procreation ... and the Ranger Rules were born:

1. You must be able to trace your lineage to Lonebeard, the First.
2. You must explore and gain dominance over a harsh and unexplored land.
3. He who proves worthiest, will become keeper of the Lonebeard Shrine and become Master of Lonebeard Mountain.
4. You have to grow a beard. A long one. And you can't cut or wash it. Ever.

So who is the guy in the picture? It's Grizzlebeard. Rootbeard's father and keeper of Lonebeard Shrine. He's dead now. And his three sons are trying to get control of the grand prize (see rules above). The oldest brother, Shroombeard the Stiff, is looking for a Monacraton (a mythical, giant-sized insect) in the Rasadian Desert. The second oldest, Thistlebeard the Seaman, is on a sailboat headed toward Ichanthia. And Rootbeard the younger has decided to stay close by and make a name for himself and explore Darkwood.

And before anybody thinks I've run out of "creamy" titles ...

"Born under a Bad Sign" was a song written by Booker T. Jones and William Bell, and later covered by ... (wait for it) ... Cream! On their album Wheels of Fire.

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

In case you ever wondered what otters sounded like...

2010-09-11T13:37:00.002-04:00

I recommend that you listen to number five on the list...

http://www.soundboard.com/sb/Sea_Otter_Sounds.aspx

Lutria, my land o' tis of thee, how I long to look upon your lovely fishing industry...

2010-09-11T13:24:00.001-04:00

Eoardic of Gludheim

At last! Finally we come to to that little place on the far side of the world....LUTRIA!
Sitting next to the Styrian Ocean, Lutria is made up of streams, creeks, burns, kills, licks, brooks, rivers, rills, rivulets, lakes, ponds, pools,swamps, bogs, marshes, lagoons, inlets, estuaries, coves, bays, sounds, fjords, canals, & ephemeral waterbodies in the west. It is the very definition of a wetland.
The primary inhabitants of this land are a race of four foot tall talking otters.
Not unlike the Vikings in our past, the Lutrians are noted explorers, boatmen, and fierce warriors.
Although highly adept and frivolous in the water, they often use boats to get around. This is mostly for practicality. There are many occasions, at home or abroad, that require the transport of passengers or cargo. Another reason is for safety...especially when travelling the waters of the Styrian Ocean. Many dangers lurk within those waters. One of the most feared creatures is that of the megalodon. It is a giant shark, reputed to be around 70 feet in length. That's a mighty big appetite.
The Lutrians have come into contact with the various peoples that live in and around Messpit. This is mostly for trading (although, there are some Lutrian pirates out there), as well as joining up with the Fellowship Industry in order to achieve wealth, fame, glory, and to legally cut people up.

I came up with the Lutrians for a roleplaying game that Jeff developed several years back. In it, the action revolved around a place called Darkwood. I went a little overboard whilst creating my character, and ended up creating his whole world....right down to maps, food, politics, religion, and the sects that were breaking off from the main church. Sadly, my little guy did'nt really make it that far into the field of action. But he left behind a legacy, one which I continued to develop.
Alas, poor Eoardic...I knew him well....

...And one more thing. The writing you see in the image is obviously futhark (old runic alphabet). Over the years, I decided that they should have their own writing style, no matter how viking-like they were. So I began the long process of language development...which is still under way.

Ogres, Ogres, we all scream for Ogres...

2010-09-03T06:42:00.000-04:00

Due to their unusual parentage, ogres come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. The race of the mother will often determine the size of the ogre. For example, if the mother is human, the creature will be smaller. If the mother is trollish, it will be larger. Add diet and exercise and you've got yourselves an ogric smörgåsbord.

........chew

Yum...Ogres

2010-08-30T21:55:00.000-04:00

There are many dangerous creatures on the world of Secunda Terra. Trolls, chitterlings, Narcissians, redcaps, and things that I dare not speak of in this blog. Perhaps the most foul, the most odious, and the lowest form of monster is... the Ogre.
Ogres are the spawn of humans and trolls. Both races consider an ogre to be an abomination.
When a male troll takes a female human, the chances of that mother surviving the birth are rare. However, when a troll female takes a male human (the reports seem to indicate that this is an extremely high number), the mothers often survive. The human males do'nt always make it, though.
The offspring are either immediately destroyed or, as is often the case, thrown out into the wild where they are expected to die. Most will perish, but some manage to survive. There, in the wilderness, they scratch out a living amongst the sticks and weeds searching for meat...fresh or dead.
Due to a ravenous hunger, ogres will often attack almost anything that moves...including each other. For this reason, they are mostly solitary creatures. There have been, on a few occasions, large hunting parties of ogres spotted wiping out entire villages (the "Crimstock Massacre" is reputed to be one such happening). It should not be assumed that these creatures can formulate complex thought patterns. The majority of them are not able to communicate except through a series of shrill, ear-piercing screams, barks, grunts, and howls. When you hear one...you run!
Female ogres enter estrus every 3 to 5 years. Because of this, and cannibalism, there is generally a low birth count amongst the population (not that anyone could really count! Ogres have not been very receptive to captivity. Many will continually beat their heads into bars or walls until they die. Restraints are just impossible! Plus all of the screeching makes people want to kill them outright. Really, really annoying). Somehow, they eke out an existence in the peripheries of the world. This has led some to speculate that troll women must have some kind of fetish for human males. Maybe it's because they're more docile and easy to push around. Who knows???
In trollish mythology/religion, it is believed that the "line" of ogres was created when Ogrellico the Missing, one of the heads removed from the troll god Imbrd Druw during its civil war, Da'a Wahr'r utj da'a Ea'hrtatz, went off and spied a human female, with whom he fell in love with for her long golden hair. He took her to be his consort, and using his avatar (Ogra-Mink), was able to mate with her. Unfortunately, she died in childbirth. In anger, he cast the child off into the forests. This was the first ogre, named so after its father: Ogrellico. After this, the godhead vanished. It is said that he will return in a thousand years.

He's late.

P.S. It has been noted, and very rarely, that there have been several successful human/troll marriages. Their offspring have been, although somewhat wild and not too intelligent, ogres of a relatively mild nature.

Chew

A Hair in Yer Bog

2010-08-22T00:27:00.004-04:00

A-ha! Deep within the confines of Darkwood, along with many of the other foresty areas in our fabled world of Secunda Terra, resides the WOODWOSE. These wily creatures are none other than feral humans who have long gone off the track of civilization. For far too many reasons too go into, these poor saps have coagulated deep in the wilderness...away from those who have shunned them. Surviving on flora, fauna, and the odd enchanted critter has turned these previously domesticated folks into wild men and women!
Then they mated and made little beasts.
Fear of outsiders as well as predatory creatures have made the Woodwose, or Woodies, a mite violent towards anything they consider threatening or strange. Extra care needs to be taken when entering a forest. One must have a vigilant set of eyes opened at all hours. Especially at night! There have been more than a few wanderers who have been silently dragged off into the dark.
Generally, these creatures can either be found alone or in small bands called "manus pilosum"
or "pilbants", which is a Messpitian colloquialism.

In this image we see a Woodwose attacking the gallant woodsman, Root Beard the Ranger.

Chew

Cream of the crop

2010-08-20T12:43:00.002-04:00

Don't venture too far inside Darkwood. They're watching. Of all the dangers inside the old, rotting forrest, the Narcissians may be the most dangerous. Well, according to them anyway. Narcissians believe they are the most evolved (and therefore, most superior) species in the known realms. The words arrogance and narcissism come from their language. Along with anger issues and a healthy dose of xenophobia, the Narcissians are the last thing a group of weary adventurers want to run into. It's a good thing their borders are clearly marked ...

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

Kernlhutz Da'a Agrta'ar

2010-08-15T04:26:00.004-04:00

The twelfth century is best remembered as a time of the Trollish incursions and eventual capture of the territories of the ununified peoples of the Western Lands. The Trolls swept down from their refuge in the Carapace Mountains to conquer the Lands Below (or the Low Countries). They quickly established "The Protectorate", or "Da'a Bkrudk'akdk'urhrdka". In many places, it is still known as "The Curse".
The Trollish Incursions were part of a holy war known as a Grahrnryanrgh. The Trolls raided and pillaged, turned many people into slaves, and imposed their own religion on the remaining populace.
Trollish artists were in high demand due to a re-education campaign put upon the new subjects.
The best known of these artists was Kernlhutz the Elder. Already advanced in age, Kernlhutz was an expert printmaker. His usual mode of expression was found through the use of stone engravings. He was also known as a devout follower of Imbrdism, the Trollish religion. Prolific throughout his life, his engravings glorified the life of Imbrd Druw (as well as explored the facets of his many heads).
His images were used in pamphlets that were widely distributed amongst the conquered peoples. These pamphlets were also the first to burn in massive bonfires after the fall of the Protectorate. Within fifty years of it having been established, civil wars broke out within the Trollish Empire.
By that time, old Kernlhutz had already died. He was blessed to have passed on before the downfall--and spared the indignity of seeing his creations destroyed by a hostile, ignorant and unsympathetic population of cretins.
Except...it was widely rumored that Kernlhutz was poisoned with red lead by one of his jealous, younger competitors: Cuspinian, the Master of Tzwaya'dk'kepkhrk.
Now, he is all but forgotten. The Trolls have vanished and with them the memory of a once talented artist.

Tchew The Other

The Eater of Stones

2010-08-14T20:08:00.005-04:00

This is a depiction of the Troll God Imbrd Druw created by the famous 12th century Trollish artist Kernlhutz the Elder.
Originally, Imbrd Druw consisted of a variety of 27 heads. Constantly bickering, the heads plunged into a civil war. At the end of the conflict, 8 heads were removed, 2 were devoured, and 1 went missing.
These are called: Da'a Ayaghedk
Da'a Ahrdkanr-Unratz
Ogrellico, Da'a Mgyatzanr
The remaining heads are known as Da'a Tzyach'dka'anr.
The heads have the ability to create an avatar, a physical representation of themselves removed from the Godhead. Oddly, their combined forces are not strong enough to make the body move wherever they want it to. So, the body moves on its own accord, the heads continually bicker with each other (Trolls love a good argument...not a debate), and the avatars go off and perform whatever functions the heads wish them to.
It should be noted that "Druw", from Imbrd's name, is pronounced as "tarowa". This has been misinterpreted as "Troll" (there is no 'L' sound in the Trollish language. There is only a 'W' sound). Due to the fact that Trolls are religious zealots, people picked up on the commonality of the word 'tarowa', and eventually turned it into their name for the race of foul, militaristic creatures: "Trolls".
Instead, Trolls call themselves Da'a Tzdkunratj'okartz. Their language is called Tzdkunratj'okartz Dkonrgh.

Da'a Chewa

Creme de la Cream

2010-08-10T08:14:00.003-04:00

Mage-Mites. Pesky little critters that eat magic. They're teeny, tiny and voracious. But something strange has happened to the species ... a growth spurt. Intelligence. Language. Tribal and complex social behavior. In just three generations! And they are all led by this guy: Shrew Khan, the Uniter. He's a direct descendent of the Receivers (The first Mage-Mites to get bigger and smarter). He's mean and ruthless. He's paranoid. And he will stop at nothing to destroy the legend and the myth of the Darkmis'th Giver. He will not stop until he is made god-king. All hail Shrew Khan! Titan among the small. Conquerer of the tall.

Did I mention that all of this happened in just under two months?

– Jeff Tuffenstuff

Leeches and Cream

2010-08-03T14:37:00.003-04:00

Zwieback had a fortress. He was a king (self proclaimed, that is) and a conquerer. He employed mercenaries, alchemists, inventors, wizards and all sorts of nasties to protect what was his and what would soon be his. He created a mystical think tank to create new and unstoppable siege weapons. The Leech King is such a weapon. The theory is simple: Castles have moats as a defensive measure. Leeches live and thrive in moats. Create a magical device that can summon and command those leeches to infiltrate a castle and fight (and destroy) any resistance within.

Now, what are the chances that our new fellowship will run into the early Leech King prototype whilst trying to rescue Fandalf? If I where a betting man I'd say ... well, I don't know what I would say, but it would be something really cool and it would let everyone know that I held held the winning hand, or number, or chip, or ... whatever. And then everyone would cry, because the win was so awesome ... sorry. I believe that was a tangent. Focus. Fellowship. Right.

Fellowship meets Leech King. Bloodsucking and death follow.

I hope someone remembered to bring some salt ...

Jeff Tuffenstuff

Hrrgus

2010-08-01T20:51:00.005-04:00

...Hrnrta eara ea tjoch'yanr yatz. Hrrgus, da'a Eya Mg'uonrdk'hryanr Tzdkunratj'okar, pkyaketz! Ia!

The updated version of Hrrgus...

C.

Send in the Trolls

2010-08-01T20:01:00.004-04:00

One winter, many, many years ago...Jeff and I came up with an idea for a story. This was the previously mentioned Biskit storyline. After the concept went on hiatus, I decided to do my own tale in that same world---in the same forest. Taking place 10 years after Biskit's tale (which was to be told after his demise). Biskit, now Zwieback, was reputed to have left a vast treasure hidden within the confines of Haelfern Forest (Darkwood!). Whether this was true or not, did not matter, for word quickly spread...where it eventually made its way to the Trolls.
His interest piqued purely through his greed, Hrrgus, the High Mountain Troll, descended to make his long journey to Darkwood.
As Biskit has been reconstituted, so has Hrrgus. In the process of re-exploring his story, I also developed the Trollish language for him and his kin to speak. Example: "Ghadahr tjoch uod'dkhr mgi tjhrka ihr ghhr-tahrmg'ta mgodahrtjok'nrtz. Yamg hr tjokyanr ghuta! Yagr krogk i'hrgr!!!
That's really hard to type. You can speak it, though.
So, the image you see before you is the original Hrrgus design (with his captive, Aric) from about 2002 or so.

And by the way....
Jeff and I took a trip up to Athens, Ga. this past Friday to go to Drew Weing's Set to Sea book release party. It was located at the ever fab Bizarro-Wuxtry comic shop.
It was pretty neat, but alas, the heat got to both Jeff and I VERY, VERY quickly. Apparently I was beginning to turn red...and that was inside the shop! Plus there was a longer than usual car ride up there...
But really, Set to Sea is a cool little book. If you get a chance, check it out and his blog as well. Congrats again, Drew!
http://www.drewweing.com/

...Chew...Chew...Chew...like S.O.S. but not...'...'...'...'...'...

Death a la creme

2010-07-26T15:57:00.008-04:00

He skulks in the shadows, relentless and wild
in his search for a tender, delectable child.
With his steely sharp claws and his slavering jaws
oh he's waiting ... just waiting ... to get you

From the Bogeyman by Jack Prelutsky

The legend of the Bogeyman has been around the villages and towns of Messpit for hundreds of years and has been used by parents to scare their children into behaving properly. Tragically, infant death has skyrocketed in recent weeks in the village of Swineford. Is the legend of the Bogeyman true?

The Bogeyman is actually a pack of Bugbears that make their home deep inside Darkwood and venture out for a "snack" every so often. They normally hibernate for most of the year and hunt during the late summer months. Due to an abnormally warm winter, the bugbears have started hunting and feasting early. Easy pickings, until Hippalonia, Warrior Amazon of Nilbrest, is hired by the villagers of Swineford to protect them.

Just because there's a new fellowship with a new mission, doesn't mean former fellowship members have been slacking.

–Jeff Tuffenstuff

Darkest Red, Deepest Night

2010-07-23T06:48:00.005-04:00

Deep within the confines of the enchanted Haelfern Forest, otherwise known as Darkwood to many of you, there exists a great many wondrous and/or dangerous creatures. The image you see before you is one such being. This is the dreaded Redcap. It is a ghoulish creature known to murder wayward travelers and dye their hats red with the blood of their victims.
Here, a Redcap is seen sitting on the body of old, fat Friar Phurnighan. Silly man, what was he doing in the woods?
Redcaps are only one of the many dangers lurking around the corners of the forest. Will our hardy band of fellows run into them? Or is this a moot drawing?

Chew

Beware the Monkey of ... Doom!

2010-07-20T14:23:00.004-04:00

Ahhh ... kids. Wacky, wacky kids. My soon-to-be-one year old daughter is kicking my butt at night. She's decided that night time is playtime and by the time I put her to bed, I'm done. Well done. Oh yeah, big props to the inventor of the pacifier ... you rock, sir. Big time.

So what's up with the monkey? Uhm ... he's a mean monkey from ... er ... space? Yeah. Space. Oooh, and he's been genetically altered to ... ah ... fight stuff.

I am in no way stalling until I get some more stuff for Carnage Cream drawn. Nope. Not stalling at all. Monkey of Doom. Yep.

Monkeys are funny.

– Jeff Tuffenstuff

Zwieback, The Dwarf-Lord

2010-07-16T06:35:00.004-04:00

So, here he is...Biskit reconstituted as Zwieback.
In this particular image, he is standing on the freshly slain corpse of the Infamous Red Troll of Ragmar (amongst his fellow trolls, he is known as "Tahr Pkatz'rrrta Utj Rrhrgh'mghrrr"). As Zwieback was carving out his empire, he needed to annex a certain Haelfern Forest...that wonderfully enchanted place also known as Darkwood (thought by many to contain great secrets and treasures). The Red Troll claimed himself as king of the forest (which he was obviously not, for he lived some thirty leagues away), so Zwieback did what came naturally to a conquering alpha male bastard. He took down his competition.

Chew

Biscuits in times of duress are good for the soul

2010-07-15T21:19:00.005-04:00

I'm not sure if you remember this little guy. Several years ago, Jeff T. and I came up with the Biskit story. This is mentioned in a previous post (from Thursday, January 28, 2010). Biskit was a greedy and malevolent dwarf who was said to have killed his mother, thus causing the ostracization by his brothers and the dwarven community at large. Basically, he sucks and everyone hates him.
Slowly, he built his kingdom, and died leaving behind a vast, untold (and hidden) treasure. Jeff was going to do the writing and I was going to draw it. As things sometimes happen, we were never able to get the project out of the preliminary stage. But...we never forgot it. For a spell, I feared it was dead. That is, until AFTER I made the previous post.
Then I started thinking....Biskit exists in the same world as Carnage Cream. There is an unfulfilled idea out there shared by two people. Why not do something with it after all? Why just let it sit there and die? So, Biskit has been reconstituted as Zwieback, the Dwarf -Lord.

Probably will not be seeing him or his story for a while....but elements of his empire remain strewn throughout the landscape.

chewy

Sour Cream

2010-07-12T12:37:00.005-04:00

Anybody creeped out by the picture of Heino in Chew's last post? I am. And I grew up listening and watching the guy. Who's Heino? He's a super duper famous german folk singer that could make old ladies swoon. He's the Sinatra of German Folk ... with shades that only got bigger and darker, and bigger and ... you get the point. Ahh, Germany. Oh how I miss the succulent chesticles of the Fatherland.

Sorry. Back on topic. Uhm ... cream. Chew and I have been talking about D&D – specifically monsters in the old first edition Fiend Folio and the various Monster Manuals. So, here's a Monster. Well, more of a pet really. Say hello to Kronk the Hob-Poggle, official mascot of Fandalf's School of Wizardry and Wonderment, inc. He's a cute, quiet little fellow as long as you keep him fed. And chained. And sedated. None of which he will be, of course, when the fellowship finds him in the School Cellar. In fact, the little guy guy will have a very sour disposition.

See how I worked the end there back into the main title?

I know. I'm Awesome.

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

Elfheim of Elfland, get thee gone

2010-07-09T22:11:00.004-04:00

Well, things have been a little crappy on my end of the world, but no need to go into any wearying details. I do'nt really feel like writing anything, but a compulsion has led me here nonetheless. Jeff and I, amidst the chaos of life (what else would it be?), are still working on our Creamy Carnage Tales 2. AND....at a feverish pace I might add. With the way the book is going, you'll see it in a couple of years. If all goes as planned, it will be a MAJOR project. Big!
I'm really psyched about the whole thing. Because of previous posts, you might find this entry a tad redundant. But I am majorly psyched. I want to keep talking about it and doing research on Lord of the Rings, AD&D and just about any other nerdy fantasy crap we can totally skewer...whilst maintaining a healthy respect for it, mind you!
I have to tell you guys, one of Jeff's big gripes with L.O.T.R. is Tolkien's portrayals of the Elves as these noble, angelic, tall, effete, and mostly blonde spiritual, and totally pointy-eared beings of utter grace. I am with him on this one now. I, too, am tired of the watered-down version of creatures who used to be a bunch of feisty little asses. Just like what has happened to vampires (Twilight, yo. Vampire eunuchs who glitter. Yeah).
I want to see Elves as bastards again!
And no, they will not be featured in our book.

Oh, Jeff's doing fine, by the way.

ch ch ch chew

"A Musical Trip Through Hell"

2010-06-28T06:29:00.004-04:00

What madness has possessed me to watch such a horrid thing? Have I fallen into the depths of some infernal conspiracy that seeks to infect my very soul with the fetid stench of corruption and damnation?
What, oh what is it that has brought this skein of destruction come belching out of the charnel house like some cursed, sticky web? Oh woe unto me, for I am watching that illest of ills....Staying Alive.
What can I say? This baby fell right into my hands! It seemed like a challenge to watch.
In the last 45 of my 36 years on this earth, I fully, honestly, naively believed that TROLL 2 was the crap that walked the land. Boy, I was wrong!
I have seen a lot of bad movies. I have seen tons of awful movies. I have seen a plethora of terrible movies. I have seen MUNCHIES in the theatre.
I have never, until this moment, seen a movie this bloody...damn...awful.
I have stared into that gaping maw of the abyss...and it is ugly!

Along with Troll 2 and Munchies, this is now first on my new unofficial list of "Charnel House Movies"....the worst of the worst.

Go see it NOW!

Chewmeupintolittlepieces

A Carnival of Carnage

2010-06-25T15:32:00.005-04:00

Here's another character for the upcoming Carnage Cream II book: it's Mah-Ghoul the Man-Witch of Darkwood. He's in the middle of summoning a demon named Hanzohl, who will help him summon a flying beast named Greytohl. The main difference between witches and wizards is that wizards channel magic and witches are granted powers by the demons they summon. So why is Mah-Ghoul so important? Because in about five years or so he will be the first Man-Witch to coin the term "Warlock." Man-Witches all over the realms will come to use "Warlock" to describe themselves and sound kinda' cool forever after. Yep. That's his claim to fame. Oh, and of course he will have a small run-in with the fellowship. But that's another story ...

You guys should be proud of me for not coming with another awful play on the word cream.

Ugggh ... nnnnh ... Mice-Cream!

Sorry.

– Jeff Tuffenstuff

P.S. It's the 100th Blog Posting. Happy Bloggaversary! I'm drinking a Beer.

Even Ugly Has to Work

2010-06-21T07:20:00.004-04:00

I've decided to take a little break from my drawing. My shoulder seems to be aching from working on this piece.
I've seen three movies this past weekend (or, at least, mostly seen three movies). So, I will give you a brief review during my respite.
The first was an old Italian 'giallo' from the early 70's entitled TORSO. For those of you who do not know, the giallos (yellow) were brainy forerunners of the slasher flicks of the 80's. When I mean brainy, I do not necessarily mean smart. I mean, they were highly over-the-top films with overly convoluted plots. Usually, hard to figure out what's going on, who's killing who, lots of red herrings, and a background story about the killer's motivations that seemingly come out of nowhere. You probably wo'nt be able to figure out what's happening until the very end (except for the fact that tons o' folks get offed). Torso is no exception to this description. It was very controversial at the time, and is not known as one of the better ones of the genre. However, something about it appealed to me. For one thing, it kept making me want to watch THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE (which is no gem, itself...but fun). Torso also came to represent a sort of death of the freewheeling 60's, which I found fascinating. It's definitely a forerunner of the American-styled slasher flicks (i.e. sex=death). Not really recommended for many of you. Borrow it.
Second, I went to see THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO in the theatre. This is a Swedish film. Since I have been living in a cave and stopped watching television, I never saw a preview, let alone heard about this movie or the books it was based off of (it's a trilogy, published posthumously after the author's death of heart attack at 50), I did'nt know what to expect. This is the first film in a trilogy (all of the films are finished now, but we in the U.S. have to wait a while). I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed this film. I was totally in the dark on it and I think I enjoyed it more for that reason (although, it is pretty good in its own right).
Interestingly, this movie was being shown at the theatre where FLUKE was being held. Jeff mentioned it to me and we marveled over the poster as we were waiting to get inside. Highly recommended. Except for illiterates.
The last is a work in process. I rented MACUMBA SEXUAL by the awesome/awful Jess Franco! It's basically a reworking of that tidy little number, Franco's earlier VAMPYROS LESBOS (the soundtrack is really good). This time, instead of a vampire seducing a thick German girl, it's a transexual voodoo priestess seducing a thick Spanish girl (in-famous Lina Romay, for those of you not in the know. Do'nt look any of her images up at your work computers!!!!).
Time being as it is, I have only been able to make it halfway through the flick. I am enjoying it thus far. Recommended for only perverts and sadocinemasochists. Enjoy!
Next on my list? SWEET MOVIE and SALO, OR THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM (again)! Let the pain continue!
ciao, mon amis...

A Fistful of Cream

2010-06-17T14:17:00.005-04:00

Rootbeard the Ranger hates Curmites. They're foul green slimy nuisances with an appetite for livestock. I would love to say that this picture has something to do with Carnage Cream: Part Deux. It doesn't. I just like drawing Rootbeard.

Rootbeard, Carnage and Cream. Goes together like PB&J. Yummy.

– Jeff Tuffenstuff

The Night on Blood Mountain

2010-06-13T20:25:00.007-04:00

Sorry, I really did'nt spend the night on Blood mountain, although I did drive up and down the thing. Actually, I stayed at a place close to Rocky Mountain. It was at a camp with an organic farm, which I actually did not get to visit because there was a band of small children blocking my path. Remembering Lord of the Flies, and not being a fan of children, much less people, in general, I went in the opposite direction up to see a trout pond. The trout said nicer things to me than the children would have.
This was my vacation to North Georgia, in my modest attempts to get out of Central Georgia. I had to get back into the mountains again. To see rapid inclines and declinations...to see odd, oversized tourists with their jeans tucked into their cowboy boots...to see quaint, not-so-German-German villages in the high north of Georgia (which, thankfully, I drove through and did not exit my car). I do'nt do well with tourists, either. Which is why I ended up where I ended up.
There, I was able to start and ALMOST finish the novel Kornwolf by Tristan Egolf. Not great, but really enjoyable. A little filthy and anarchic and totally manic book. Recommended to only a few of you. If you like Chuck Palahniuk, you might like this. Over the top, outrageous, and good for my brain...which was totally hellbent (against my desires) to relax, not do any work, sketching, drawing, painting, THINKING, writing, planning, scheming, collecting, et cetera, ad infinitum.
So I hiked, drove around N.GA, slept in laaaaate, and read.
It was a great little vacation! I was able to get out on the Appalachian Trail and tromp around on some strenuous switchbacks. I even saw bearsigns. Me, by my lonesome coming across ground that has been upended with bear spoor in the trail is not the most pleasing of prospects. From the tracks left behind (paw prints sans any claw marks) and what appeared to be snout marks (!!!!), I determined that it was probably a small black bear that had been rooting around the trail sometime during the night or morning. You better believe I picked up a stick for walking and defense! Luckily, that was as close as I came to the bears.
I saw many odd little creatures on my walk. Dozens of tiny little white butterfies, one big fat squirrel, large millipedes (two varieties: one black with yellow markings, the other black with pink and white), very large trail snails, something green and slimy, a massive orange cup fungus which looked like a pumpkin that exploded, a halo of gnats and flies and one very tempestuous deerfly.
I was only up there for a couple of days, but it was worth it. I've been locked away in the studio in the couple days since my return. I've got a new series of large drawings (idioplasts, if you'll recall) that I've started. Once I get back to work, J. and I will get back to the CREAM. I know that sounds bad, and I meant it to be, but it really is'nt what you think it may be, dear perverts, but then if you're a regular, you'll know what it is that I speak of. Speaking of...which...the Carnage Creamatorium made me want to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy again, as well as the Gormanghast series...
Being on the mountain has made me want to watch Valerie and Her Week of Wonders. Too much to do since I've been back! I still need to finish reading my damn book!
Oh bless me, I just sneezed.

Chewmeupagainintotinylittlepiecesbecausei'mfunnythatway

Creamy Encounter

2010-06-09T13:11:00.002-04:00

Okay, the title of today's post is a little disturbing. Not that its meant to be. We are dealing with the second issue of Carnage Cream after all. Chew and I developing the story and although he is currently on vacation ... well, that doesn't stop me from drawing the minions that we will meet throughout the creamy realms. Enter ... Hilz Klayfoot. He's a lone centaur who has escaped from the clutches of his clan's greatest enemy. He needs help. Perhaps maybe and/or possibly the fellowship will come to the rescue?

Or will there be bloodshed and carnage?

Will I find a way to stop myself from coming up with other corny uses of the words "cream" and "carnage?"

Find out next week. Same blog. Same creamy time.

– Jeff Tuffenstuff

2010-06-05T09:22:00.004-04:00

Well, it is the first day of my spring vacation! I am already on my second cup of coffee and have been in the studio working on one of my paintings. It is a 6 foot by 8 foot canvas that is part of a series revolving around a tornado that hit the street that I live on. Since the recent inclusion of yellow to my palette (a previously hated and untouched color), I have found that I'm able to generate some uniquely obnoxious colors. This seems to have been a missing ingredient for my paintings. Yellow. Who'da thought???
I needed to take a little break from the comics and paint a bit. I put in a lot of intensive mental power earlier this week on the Black Worm. Trying to figure a few things out, fix a couple of snags...you know. Marcolm and I have also been working on our Carnage Cream II tale (as we have been having meetings to brainstorm and plan the book). I must say, this looks like it's going to be a huge project. But as daunting as it appears, I am very excited about its possibilities.
Well, that's it now from the land of the GLOB. I'm off to paint!

Chew
S

Open auditions ...

2010-05-30T22:28:00.001-04:00

Another brave new member of the fellowship.

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

So long, so gone, so far away...

2010-05-26T20:35:00.006-04:00

More to come???
Yes, it has been so, so long since we last met. I meant to make my post earlier, but alas, it was not to be. Where Jeff's weekend was great...mine was horrible! Why? You ask? Well, you'll just have to guess!
Here, we have two more members from our new ultra-quest, the sequel (of sorts)to Carnage Cream. I'd like to say more, but it is all hush-hush. We have a not-so-secret meeting coming up to discuss the parameters of the story.
Wait, what are the police doing at my front door at five in the morning??? Looking for my neighbor? Awesome.
Yes, we have been busy trying to accomplish much in the land of the Glob. Too busy to write about it!

Chew

We missed you too ...

2010-05-23T21:56:00.012-04:00

I spent the entire day at the pool with my kids. Playing. Watergun fights. Teaching them how to swim. My brother almost drowned me twice and made me bite my lip (he's a big guy and loves to wrestle). All of that on a stomach full of my Dad's barbecue. Free food provided by family. Yum. I thought I applied enough sunscreen. Hahaha! That's what I get for trusting myself to apply creamy sun blocker correctly. Who knew that prolonged exposure to the sun causes skin to burn? Sure, my shoulders are burnt to a crisp ...but it was my eight month old baby's first day at the pool. She splashed and drank some of the pool water ... and my mom popped me upside the head for letting her do it. It was a good day.

It's been over a month and it's time to get to work on our next project: A follow up to Carnage Cream (How ah met your muddah). The details are still hush-hush. But it's going to be a big book. Some members of the old Fellowship will return. New warriors will join. The new quest will be ridiculous and dangerous. And all of you get to decide how it ends.

Who's in the the new fellowship? Funny you should ask. Two of the members are above. More will follow ...

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

Fluke 2010

2010-04-19T09:31:00.025-04:00

Fluke 2010 was awesome.

Chew and I left Columbus at 5:30 A.M. and arrived in Athens just before nine. We grabbed some coffee and decided to scope out the new Fluke location and saw that people were already lined up to rent tables. We rushed back to the car to grab our stuff and stand in line. The doors opened just a little before 11 A.M. and the line kept growing and growing. There is no way the old location at Tasty World would have been able to hold that many artists. The hall in Cine (Athen's indy theater) was just big enough. There was a bar and the coffee and beer started flowing at noon.

Chew and I did suprisingly well. Everyone who bought a copy of Flex Fantastic last year, picked up book II, which was exciting. Chew sold a lot of Hairball and Neutrino Valley.

Several friends of ours made the trip to Athens. Orion rented a table and premiered two of his comics. Roger picked up his friend Steve from Atlanta and arrived around noon.

The day went by quickly and we met a lot of people and hopefully, made some new friends. Fluke wrapped up around 6 P.M. We hooked up with our Columbus Posse and headed out to grab some dinner. We laughed, drank - discussed the new Doctor Who, Blake's 7 and B movies - and ate Thai. It was a 20 hour day and the trip home took forever but it was one of the best days I've had ... and from talking with Chew, I know he feels the same.

I just wanted to thank everyone who came out to see us. If you're new to this blog, please check out our ealier postings (starting at April 2009) for Carnage Cream/How ah met you Muddah. Please leave a comment. We'd love to hear from you!

Thank you, Patrick Dean, for throwing such a great event. Fluke rocks.

Special thanks again to Kennis, our unnofficial third member, for printing our books. Because of him, we were able to pass our savings on to everyone who bought a book this year.

And special thanks to Roger. You've just been made Globster Press Fan Club President!

Spread the word!

--Jeff Tuffenstuff

After a three hour car trip, full of Starbucks coffee and pastries, Chew(right)and I are ready to set up and sell our books at Fluke.

A close-up of Flex Fantastic Issue 2 and Carnage Cream at the Globster Press Table

Chew at the Globster Press Table at 11:00 A.M. That smile is scary, man! You're scaring the kids...

Roger, recently appointed President of the Globster Press Fan Club, reading one of Chew's comics. He drove 150 miles to come out and support us - and brought his friend, Steve. Roger now owns every comic we've done. He also sat at our table and shouted at attendees and helped sell books. A sea biscuit goes to anyone who can spot what's wrong with this picture!

5 P.M.: selling strong, all day long

Our fellow travelers and friends from Columbus: (left to right) Julie, Dan, Hannah, Orion and Steve. Orion also had a table at Fluke. His Sci-Fi comic After the Penal Colony is worth reading. If you come across it, please give it a try. Thanks for coming out to Fluke, guys!

6:04 P.M. Fluke's over. We're done. Bring on the next con!

Chew at Dinner. Excited to order Drunken Noodles and feeling pretty good about Fluke.

Roger and Steve at Dinner. Imitation meat? Huh? What?

Fluke 2010!

2010-04-18T14:53:00.002-04:00

Here are a couple of pics from our friend Roger from Fluke 2010. He also took the pic of the Most Awesome Dude reading one of my books. Thanks, Dude!

Most Awesome Dude at Fluke 2010

2010-04-18T14:50:00.002-04:00

FLUKE!

2010-04-16T12:59:00.007-04:00

Hey peoples. Hope all is well. Been sick, been busy, been crazy....but FLUKE is here! Now! Set for Saturday, April 17 in Athens, GA. We, here at Globster Press, between the two of us, will have FOUR NEW COMIC BOOKS FOR YOU EDIFICATION! J. and I have the new Flex Fantastic 2 (the sequel) and Carnage Cream. I will have my new/old Hairball entitled "Hillbilly Chic: Part One of the Hillbillogy" as well as Neutrino Valley. All of our books are affordable to poor people who like to wallow in mud and cheap forms of literature. Awesome! You know you wish you could be there to wish you were there wishing you could hang out with our awesomeness all day and drink beer with all of the other people milling about whilst drinking beer wishing that they were sitting at a table all day wishing that they could drink a beer too!
YEAH! We had an unbelievably great time last year. Hopefully this years show will be fun as well.
Before I go, big HUGE THANKS to Kennis for helping us print our books this time. I know my books killed that two-tone printer, but thanks for the effort. HUGE cheers also go out to J. for using his superhuman powers to tackle the cutting and stapling. You guys totally Rock! No sarcasm, either!
FLUKE!!!!!

Chew

Images painfully seared into your brain!

2010-03-03T06:31:00.006-05:00

Well, well. March has come in and we, here in the Land of the Globster, find ourselves inundated with many, many, many, many things to do. We are working hard on Flex 2, though. I thought I would take this opportunity to indulge you with a few choice words......
A couple of nights ago, I began my first annual one man "Naschy-Fest At Night" to celebrate the life and passing of that crazy Spaniard, Paul Naschy. He looked like John Belushi and acted like a plank of wood, but ohhhh that Naschy! He was quite the devil! He made some very enjoyable 'horror'/exploitation films from the 60's to the 00's (oughts).
Last night, I finished "El Carnaval De Las Bestias", a.k.a. 'Human Beasts'. It was a touching little film about cannibalism. Actually, it would be more appropriate if the title was translated literally into The Carnival of the Beasts. It would fall in line with the theme of masks...and the people who hide behind them...and how easy it is for people to let themselves be suckered after a couple of kisses.
There was this really ripe scene, and I'm totally giving it away, where this veterinarian gets eaten by these really, REALLY fake looking pig heads. VERY BOSS.
Next up? Blue Eyes of a Broken Doll!
Until then....keep busy!
I know you will, you few, you...

Albaric the Transmutationable Mute

Meanderthals

2010-02-18T20:00:00.006-05:00

Well, I must say, things have been rather stressful. There is a trashy person living in a place very, very close to me who is slowly making my mind unravel. I have always had a low tolerance for really dirty, insensitive, ultra-tacky mofo's who like to spread their filth onto other people. Consensual trash is one thing, but when it's forcibly imposed upon a person who is then driven out of their dwelling in frustration...well, that just sucks.
So, the venom that has welled up from within me simply must be addressed in some form. Luckily, I was able to get to a point where I could write this entry without sounding like some Meanderthal craving violence, skull bashing, throwing squealing hyper-active children out of trees. You think this sounds rough? You should have heard me last week! I was practically rabid. I even started to mimic a crying child.
Which brings me to the image you see before you. This was a test page for Neutrino Valley in its early stages...back in 2000-2002. Not sure when it was, really. The characters you see are, in fact, mutated, inbred cannibals. Well, most of them. The little guy with wings is'nt. He will eat dead cats with the rest of the family (Fambly), but generally will avoid the flesh of humans.
Here, we see the brothers picking on little Grubby. I intended Grubby to become friends with Leroy (main character of N.V.) but I had problems with the way the story was turning out. Plus, it got to a point where I did'nt want to work on the thing anymore. I just did'nt want to deal with it. I spent so much time drawing on that thing that it seemed like it would never end. There are so many lines in some of the panels, that it creates an almost misty look to it. My drawing style had also changed. I also got whiplash and had to reinvent the way I drew comics. This began my slow journey towards the brush.
Well, I had all of those pages that I had finished just sitting there. Jeff and I began chatting about the book and I was telling him about some of the problems I was having with it (run on sentence). When he saw it, he was like "You ca'nt work on the book anymore because you're done." It was all right there. No more monsters. No subplots. Nothing overly complex. It just is...finished! And it is. Hopefully N.V. will be published in time for FLUKE in April. 16 pages...B&W.

Not sure if I will ever explore these monsters again or not. I might, but outside of Neutrino Valley. The Fambly did originate from a "holler" in W.VA.
No. I will not tell you their names right now.

Albaric the Mute

Biskit

2010-01-28T21:04:00.010-05:00

Well! It sure has been awhile, has'nt it? I do that. I disappear for a spell. Living in a cave does that to people, I guess. How were your holidays? Mine totally sucked!
The image that you see here represents the very FIRST attempt that Marcolm and I made as a collaborative project. I do'nt really know what the name would have been, but the comic was to feature a feisty little dwarf named Biskit. Out of the seven dwarfs, he was eight. I believe his birth resulted in the death of his mother. This naturally put him at odds with his brothers. He was also born wrong. Like, funny-in-the-head-wrong. He was extremely greedy and liked to torture little forest animals (like cute bunnies and other disney-esque type characters).
The whole story was going to begin with his funeral. The king of the forest has died, the people at the funeral all having various flashbacks or telling stories of how he amassed all of his power and wealth (as well as dealing with the circumstances that led to his death. It was not a murder mystery per se, just an exploration of a character). We would also, from biased points of view, see what a total bastard he had been.
We developed this idea when we were working with compadre Kennis (who is a follower of this blog. YO!) on a comic book called Bacharan together. Bacharan was Jeff and Ken's book...they hired me on as a background illustrator (To clarify, Bacharan was their collaborative project whilst I was the hired hand...no matter how well we got along. That book is theirs). It was a legit job, too! I paid taxes on what I earned! Well, things got a little crazy, and the idea of Biskit never really developed past the planning stage. I did a few sketches and ended up with some really neat ideas that I will probably use at a future date. I do'nt have a whole lot of hope for Biskit, though. It seems that the time has passed. I would rather do another "fellowship" book with some characters that might be influenced by Biskit, as opposed to dealing with him outright. I do'nt know...I guess he's over.
The page before you is merely a test page. I wanted to play around with a layout that had no panels...and see how that would feel. Everything is rough, and was never intended to be seen by people outside of our little coterie. Well, who cares now. That all happened way back at the beginning of the century! Circa 2000-2002.

Albaric

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T15:26:00.004-05:00

Enter Missile Toe ... a bad little elf that has had it with the fat man's oppressive work schedules and slave wages. A buck an hour? How's an elf supposed to make a living? St. Nick nixed the worker's union, so ... down with Santa! Viva la X-Mess and Merry Mayhem to all!

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

The Crab eats its way out of its shell

2009-12-09T22:04:00.006-05:00

I found myself wandering along the coastline of Montana de Oro in the Year of Last. This happened during my first trip to California. Whilst on the beaches, I had a vision of finding a talking Crab who prophesied that I should "take it to the Mountain". Once up there, I would come across a grove of singing eucalyptus trees that would give me further instruction. It stopped there...and I was obviously not going to investigate the preposterous and utterly fantastic ramblings of my brain. I recognize imagination when I see it. I am usually neck deep in it.
So I took that basic premise and decided to turn it into a short comic. Four pages max. Well, it's funny how some of my comics seem to grow in size rather rapidly. Before long, two simple ideas expanded into ten and so on. Now, it will be a graphic novel. The story is practically written...in my mind. It's all there: beginning, middle, end, characters, new title, places, and scene studies. Everything except for words. No notes to speak of.
The page you see in this post is the very first, and quickly rejected, page out of this conceptual graphic novel. Some of you have seen the more proper test panel, which I will not post here because of content (it's an orgy)...and also because too many people have seen it. The showing was premature, but the reception has been excellent. I fear its approval has damaged me. Regardless, I give you the first and only panel of The Crab, as it was originally intended.

- Chew

Jock-styled Hari Kari hits the freeway

2009-12-09T13:16:00.009-05:00

Here's another one! Is'nt this your lucky day? Do'nt you just feel all gushy with joy and other possible squishy things? The bulk of these very few images have been created by pillaging newspapers and magazines and other phorms of ephemera. I never really intended on them having an audience...which is probably why I ended up giving them a mayfly's lifespan.
This particular image shows absolutely no damage or side effect from being bullied by jocks throughout the existence of my being. None whatsover. It also bears no resemblance to any petty grudges against jocks (and rednecks) that may have resulted from a PTSD-styled experience resulting from...well, school in general. I'm way past that, dudes.

Howler Monkeys.

- Chew

The Lord of Reeking Onions has come onto Thee

2009-12-09T12:27:00.006-05:00

Hello Globbies! It's been a while....
I've decided that I am the reincarnation of an Iron Age mute named Albaric, who's influence is slowly taking over my life. This explains why some of you NEVER SEEM TO HEAR FROM ME.
Oh...Albaric also lived in a cave, shunned sunlight, was expelled from his village for being "odd", and ate live eels--before he developed an allergic reaction to their mucus, in which case he promptly moved over to lampreys. They're different, right?
So all of this ridiculous banter is actually relevant to the piece posted in this postie.
I'm sorry, I seem to have been momentarily distracted by this huge flock of birds that were in the trees right outside of my apartment. I do'nt think I've seen or heard anything quite like it. Several of them started going after this woodpecker, who was fighting back, when all of the sudden they all took to the skies and flew off mixing in with, yet another, large flock of birds. At least my car was'nt parked under them.
Where was I? Oh yes! The piece in question comes from a small set of cartoons and weird collages that I do every once in a while. You see, if I'm not painting, then I'm working on comics, and vice versa vice. There will occasionally come a time when I need to work on something totally unrelated to my other projects that does not have some narrative or overarching concept. They simply are...my little howler monkeys.

- Chew

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-25T15:58:00.005-05:00

Behold the rise of Cluck Cluck the Foul Fowl, the avenging spirit of Thanksgiving. Turkeys, thy long-awaited liberation is at hand ...

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

The Merchant Marchand

2009-11-23T16:36:00.005-05:00

A character study for the merchant that hires the naked thief in my upcoming comic.

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

November endorsements ...

2009-11-16T08:25:00.002-05:00

Every once in a while, I come across stuff that I just want share with all of you. So here is what I fully endorse for the month of November ...

... Clone Wars Animated Series (2009) Season One DVD set. Beautifully packaged. Great shows. Giving hope to Star Wars fans that something good did come out of the prequilogy. Ahsoka, Asajj Ventress, Battle Droids and Cad Bane rock!

... Ramon Rodriguez. A fellow artist in New York who has been following our blog for a while. You should check out his site at: www.artboycat.com

... My daughter Kennedy's smile (makes my day, every day).

... First of the month Halloween discount sales. All the stuff you wanted to pull over your head or decorate your house with but couldn't afford. Now 50% to 75% off.

... Ice cubes, air conditioning, toilets and toilet paper. You will be missed in 2012.

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

Creation of a villain ...

2009-11-13T22:31:00.008-05:00

I thought it would be interesting to show my process on developing a character by posting some rough initial sketches and the finished, inked piece.

Introducing Baron Malvado, an evil knight, who will play a "major" role in my upcoming comic. Malvado has been in many battles for his king and country and at some point he snapped. Pressure of leading troops? Couldn't play castle politics? Somebody stole his betrothed? Ate some bad meat? Who knows. Whatever happened, he's no longer playing with a full deck.The initial design of Malvado went through several stages (above, sketches 1-12). After the first few sketches, I realized that he would look more sinister and powerful with more hair - a thick mustache or a big scruffy beard. Once I started to whittle down the features that I liked, I worked out a head shape that I could easily replicate. I really like his bugged-out eyes ... he looks like he doesn't sleep well. Disturbing visions of darkness that threatens to engulf the land? Plagued by all the innocents he has slain? Perhaps. Or maybe he's really just ...

While the face took a long time, the suit of armor and his frame came together quite quickly. He needed to look strong and powerful. I want readers to believe that he is a threat as soon as he appears. I love the look of big scaly chain mail and the few plates of armor that cover the chest, hands and legs.

I like the idea of him being dubbed the black knight - not because of the armor or his family crest, but because of his disheveled black beard and his overall savagery and lunacy.

The one thing that I still have to work out is the sword, which will receive a more memorable hilt and blade. The sword is evil and will be featured often in future issues.

Baron Malvado. Let me know what you think ...

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

El Hombre Lobo will set fire to your panties!!!

2009-11-11T17:43:00.008-05:00

A curious thing has been happening over the past couple of months. Whenever I have been updating my status on Myspace and Facebook, a voice, usually spoken in the third person for ridiculous effect, has risen. It is that of Sir "El Hombre Lobo". Given to outbursts of exaggeration and arrogance, it is the impish, feral side of me.
As I began to think about this character's development within my psyche (without my full knowledge or approval)-as well as the possible reasons for his rather abrupt appearances, I decided to draw him.
Oddly, ironically, conveniently, curiously I drew him on my 36th birthday. This is my rendition of him.
Do not be alarmed or surprised if he shows up occasionally in this blog!

- Chew

I'm back ...

2009-11-03T22:01:00.006-05:00

It's been a while since my last post. Wanna know what I've been up to? Okay ... here it goes:

I've enjoyed spending quality time with my youngest daughter. I found out that I'm allergic to fagrant soaps - I developed a painful rash on my fingers and the palms of my hands, which for a week, made work and drawing extremely uncomfortable. I got a nasty cold that my body refuses to shake (don't worry folks, it's not the flu - I've been checked) and I've been sick for an entire month with all kinds of symptoms ... which is a new record for me. The whole family is sick with varying degrees of the cold (which unfortunately got the baby too). I've won two SEMC awards for my graphic design work at the museum. I watched the movie Speed Racer (which I simply don't get - I understand the plot - but if you make a movie for kids, why is the back story about corporate acquisition and race fixing? What ten-year old gives a flying crap about that? It's like the Phantom Menace ... hey kids, this one's for you! Oh by the way, we're gonna deal with a trade embargo, senatorial and planetary disputes, and we're gonna show you how to turn a small skirmish into a full scale war - yippieee! If you're gonna make the movie for a kid, make the damn movie for a kid!). I've watched a couple of old Hammer horror films ... good stuff (thanks, Matt). I saw G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra (go Baroness!). I've argued about the economical and social conditions necessary for Star Trek's socialistic society (keep 'em comin', Kennis). My wife and I hosted a Halloween party for the family at which I was dressed as a demented clown and booed my brother for doing a bad imitation of a monster (check out his germanchocolatestallion blog - don't worry, it's not porn). And finally, I've discovered the Nathan's Hot Dog. I like. I like a lot.

But it's back to making comics. In addition to getting back to work on Flex Fantastic 2, I'm trying to have two new comics out by March or April of next year. One is a little to halfway done. The other, I'm starting this week (see illustration above). It's about a naked thief trying to ... well, steal something. I'll be posting updates on this project at least once a week: Character sketches, backgrounds, panels, etc. Should be fun.

I'm back.

- Jeff Tuffenstuff

2009-10-20T21:14:00.005-04:00

These are a couple of my pieces from the show.

- Chew

On the Day of Hanging...

2009-10-20T21:01:00.005-04:00

These are pics of Roger and me (by Nicola) on the hanging day. Rog is by his work, whilst I am in the process of hanging mine own. He finished alot quicker than I did. But all of my work fit into the back seat of my car for easy transport!
The show was called "Three Rooms Divided and Ordered with a side of Devil Rice".

- Chew

Art Show in tha Crack-Haus!

2009-10-20T20:50:00.005-04:00

Hey all! I thought that i would post some pictures from the recent art exhibit that I had with my friend Roger deep in the grotto of Bibb City. As was previously mentioned, it was in a former crack house that our friends Brad and Jenn are fixing up. Big, BIG thanks to them for letting us use the space! Thanks again to Roger and Nicola for letting me use some of their photos for this blog. More thanks go out to all of the friends, new and old, who showed up to support us in our artistic endeavours. You all rock!

- Chew

Running Fast

2009-10-09T10:42:00.004-04:00

Well, I am pretty much ready for my exhibition. There really is'nt any more work to do for it. I have that desire to throw one more thing in there. Just one! But I do'nt want to kill myself, you know? I'm not 20 anymore. What's done is done. So I have been working on the comics again. Actually, I am working on three simultaneously. It is'nt as glamorous as it may sound. That's called "waiting for ink and gouache to dry".
In the meantime, I thought i would post another panel from Neutrino Valley (actually, two panels).
These have Leroy fleeing for his life. Why? That would be telling!

- Chew