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Showing posts with label One-eared Mook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label One-eared Mook. Show all posts

Monday, August 30, 2010

Yum...Ogres

There are many dangerous creatures on the world of Secunda Terra. Trolls, chitterlings, Narcissians, redcaps, and things that I dare not speak of in this blog. Perhaps the most foul, the most odious, and the lowest form of monster is... the Ogre.
Ogres are the spawn of humans and trolls. Both races consider an ogre to be an abomination.
When a male troll takes a female human, the chances of that mother surviving the birth are rare. However, when a troll female takes a male human (the reports seem to indicate that this is an extremely high number), the mothers often survive. The human males do'nt always make it, though.
The offspring are either immediately destroyed or, as is often the case, thrown out into the wild where they are expected to die. Most will perish, but some manage to survive. There, in the wilderness, they scratch out a living amongst the sticks and weeds searching for  meat...fresh or dead.
Due to a ravenous hunger, ogres will often attack almost anything that moves...including each other. For this reason, they are mostly solitary creatures. There have been, on a few occasions, large hunting parties of ogres spotted wiping out entire villages (the "Crimstock Massacre" is reputed to be one such happening). It should not be assumed that these creatures can formulate complex thought patterns. The majority of them are not able to communicate except through a series of shrill, ear-piercing screams, barks, grunts, and howls. When you hear one...you run!
Female ogres enter estrus every 3 to 5 years. Because of this, and cannibalism, there is generally a low birth count amongst the population (not that anyone could really count! Ogres have not been very receptive to captivity. Many will continually beat their heads into bars or walls until they die. Restraints are just impossible! Plus all of the screeching makes people want to kill them outright. Really, really annoying). Somehow, they eke out an existence in the peripheries of the world. This has led some to speculate that troll women must have some kind of fetish for human males. Maybe it's because they're more docile and easy to push around. Who knows???
In trollish mythology/religion, it is believed that the "line" of ogres was created when Ogrellico the Missing, one of the heads removed from the troll god Imbrd Druw during its civil war, Da'a Wahr'r utj da'a Ea'hrtatz, went off and spied a human female, with whom he fell in love with for her long golden hair. He took her to be his consort, and using his avatar (Ogra-Mink), was able to mate with her. Unfortunately, she died in childbirth. In anger, he cast the child off into the forests. This was the first ogre, named so after its father: Ogrellico. After this, the godhead vanished. It is said that he will return in a thousand years.

He's late.


P.S. It has been noted, and very rarely, that there have been several successful human/troll marriages. Their offspring have been, although somewhat wild and not too intelligent, ogres of a relatively mild nature.

Chew

Friday, September 18, 2009

Meanwhile at SMACK Headquarters ...


Wow. It's been a while since the last post. Chew has been working on several paintings for an upcoming art show. Me? My wife and I had a baby ( Hi, Kennedy! Daddy's on the internet!). We're slowly getting our bearings and I'm trying to return to something that halfway resembles a routine. The next few posts will be a bit sporadic. Fear not ... I think we'll return to a more regular posting schedule by the middle of October.

Since we've been absent for a while, I thought it would be interesting to show an entire sequence from the second issue of Flex Fantastic. We left the small band of pirates and Flex in a precarious position. And while he and his dog, Klepto, are trying to get a handle on the situation, we catch a small glimpse into the lives of those left behind ... Susan Smucker and the Super Fraternity known as S.M.A.C.K.

Enjoy!

P.S. Followers of this blog should pay special attention to a surprise cameo of a very old and very ancient friend.

- Jeff Tuffenstuff