Vinnie-Gar the Barbarian

I recently purchased the entire series of Thundarr the Barbarian. It was cartoon that ran from 1980-81, then was shown again from 1981-82 (when I saw it). It lasted all of two giant seasons. Twenty one episodes!
The cartoon features, naturally, a barbarian named Thundarr who is accompanied by sidekicks Princess Ariel the sorceress and Ookla the Mok. Ookla (my absolute fave) is a big wookie-like cat who screams a lot and breaks things. The show is set some two thousand years in the future, where science and sorcery intermix like bad food at a party.
You can imagine how insane a nine year old me must have gone over a show like that. Insane enough for a late thirty-something to buy it years later!
As fun as the show has been, there are a couple of gripes I have.

One: The animation is sub par. Veteran comic dudes Alex Toth and Jack Kirby worked on production designs for the show, which is kind of a big deal. But the animation, though not as bad/funny as the Star Trek cartoon, is pretty down there.


Two: No blood. I am now a jaded, corrupt, bloodthirsty adult (who is actually pretty squeamish). I want blood. I want decapitations. I want dismemberment. I want to see the Rat-king being drawn and quartered. I want to see the evil wizard Morag blow a hole through a puny human. I know it's a cartoon for kids...but still!

So I drew this. Not really Thundarr, but another mindless barbarian doing what he does best. Killing something he does not like or understand.

Give me MORE!!!!

Chewy

Globster's Incredible Bad Movie Rating System versus the Giant Sucking Wound Part Second and a half

I've devised a rating system based off of how a movie makes me feel...instead of how it makes me think. The movies that fall under these parameters will be horror, sci-fi, fantasy, exploitation, grindhouse, eurosleaze, trash, B and Z grade films....you get the idea.

There is no numerical score or symbol. From high to low, there is only a title to define my feelings towards a particular piece of cinema.

FACE MELT = It's Amazing! You make people watch this movie.

SEMI HIT = You never saw it coming.

MAGGOT STORM = It eats you up. It's so bad, it's good.

SPARKLING BODY SHOWER = Yeah, it has its moments. It's a pretty decent flick.

HATCHET HEAD = Average. Pedestrian. Nothing Special.

DEVOURED BY DOGS = A disappointment. You may end up liking it or hating it, but somehow you feel cheated. 

EYE GOUGE = What the hell was that???

INTESTINAL PURGE = You gag. 

HELL HOUSE = You are ready to destroy the very film you are watching and everything associated with it.

SAWDUST = Boring, boring, boring.

FLESH EATER = Unwatchable.

Plus....

A REALLY astonishing scene in a movie, good or bad, can merit the "MINI-MELT" rating. For example, the vomit scene in 'The Exorcist', or the face-melting scene in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' could be considered Mini-Melts. Like a FACE MELT, but smaller!

Chew's your fate!

Choose...choose...

Bad Heroes

Imagine you're a fat, geeky kid that reads comics. Imagine that you wish for nothing more than having super powers. Now imagine that your dream came true ...

... Now imagine that you received one of the most suck powers on the planet and you couldn't even qualify as a sidekick!

Meet Bor and Black Stake. Escapees from a demented sketchbook. On a journey to the ...

The Thirty Minutes and a Half till Twilight Zone.

Dooo di dooo di dooo di dooo di dooo di dooo.

-Jeff Tuffenstuff