Fluctuation!

Born under a Bad Sign

Grizzlebeard, practicing with his favorite
throwing axe: Cleaver III

It's no big secret that Rootbeard the Ranger is my favorite character in the Carnage Cream-verse so far. I have a special place for Flik and Hippalonia in my heart, but Rootbeard ... that dude is just fun to draw. And because I loooove him so much ... I'm going to bore you with his family history! You're welcome!


All real rangers trace their family roots (ha! get it?) to Lonebeard, the Ranger. He explored, kicked butt and tamed wild beasts. And decided his sons and their sons should do it too. A few centuries later and a little procreation ... and the Ranger Rules were born:


1. You must be able to trace your lineage to Lonebeard, the First.
2. You must explore and gain dominance over a harsh and unexplored land.
3. He who proves worthiest, will become keeper of the Lonebeard Shrine and become Master of Lonebeard Mountain.
4. You have to grow a beard. A long one. And you can't cut or wash it. Ever.


So who is the guy in the picture? It's Grizzlebeard. Rootbeard's father and keeper of Lonebeard Shrine. He's dead now. And his three sons are trying to get control of the grand prize (see rules above). The oldest brother, Shroombeard the Stiff, is looking for a Monacraton (a mythical, giant-sized insect) in the Rasadian Desert. The second oldest, Thistlebeard the Seaman, is on a sailboat headed toward Ichanthia. And Rootbeard the younger has decided to stay close by and make a name for himself and explore Darkwood.


And before anybody thinks I've run out of "creamy" titles ... 


"Born under a Bad Sign" was a song written by Booker T. Jones and William Bell, and later covered by ... (wait for it) ... Cream! On their album Wheels of Fire.


- Jeff Tuffenstuff

Lutria, my land o' tis of thee, how I long to look upon your lovely fishing industry...

Eoardic of Gludheim

At last! Finally we come to to that little place on the far side of the world....LUTRIA!
Sitting next to the Styrian Ocean, Lutria is made up of streams, creeks, burns, kills, licks, brooks, rivers, rills, rivulets, lakes, ponds, pools,swamps, bogs, marshes, lagoons, inlets, estuaries, coves, bays, sounds, fjords, canals, & ephemeral waterbodies in the west. It is the very definition of a wetland.
The primary inhabitants of this land are a race of four foot tall talking otters.
Not unlike the Vikings in our past, the Lutrians are noted explorers, boatmen, and fierce warriors.
Although highly adept and frivolous in the water, they often use boats to get around. This is mostly for practicality. There are many occasions, at home or abroad, that require the transport of passengers or cargo. Another reason is for safety...especially when travelling the waters of the Styrian Ocean. Many dangers lurk within those waters. One of the most feared creatures is that of the megalodon. It is a giant shark, reputed to be around 70 feet in length. That's a mighty big appetite.
The Lutrians have come into contact with the various peoples that live in and around Messpit. This is mostly for trading (although, there are some Lutrian pirates out there), as well as joining up with the Fellowship Industry in order to achieve wealth, fame, glory, and to legally cut people up.

I came up with the Lutrians for a roleplaying game that Jeff developed several years back. In it, the action revolved around a place called Darkwood. I went a little overboard whilst creating my character, and ended up creating his whole world....right down to maps, food, politics, religion, and the sects that were breaking off from the main church. Sadly, my little guy did'nt really make it that far into the field of action. But he left behind a legacy, one which I continued to develop.
Alas, poor Eoardic...I knew him well....

...And one more thing. The writing you see in the image is obviously futhark (old runic alphabet). Over the years, I decided that they should have their own writing style, no matter how viking-like they were. So I began the long process of language development...which is still under way.

Cream of the crop

Don't venture too far inside Darkwood. They're watching. Of all the dangers inside the old, rotting forrest, the Narcissians may be the most dangerous. Well, according to them anyway. Narcissians believe they are the most evolved (and therefore, most superior) species in the known realms. The words arrogance and narcissism come from their language. Along with anger issues and a healthy dose of xenophobia, the Narcissians are the last thing a group of weary adventurers want to run into. It's a good thing their borders are clearly marked ...


- Jeff Tuffenstuff

The Eater of Stones

This is a depiction of the Troll God Imbrd Druw created by the famous 12th century Trollish artist Kernlhutz the Elder.
Originally, Imbrd Druw consisted of a variety of 27 heads. Constantly bickering, the heads plunged into a civil war. At the end of the conflict, 8 heads were removed, 2 were devoured, and 1 went missing.
These are called: Da'a Ayaghedk
Da'a Ahrdkanr-Unratz
Ogrellico, Da'a Mgyatzanr
The remaining heads are known as Da'a Tzyach'dka'anr.
The heads have the ability to create an avatar, a physical representation of themselves removed from the Godhead. Oddly, their combined forces are not strong enough to make the body move wherever they want it to. So, the body moves on its own accord, the heads continually bicker with each other (Trolls love a good argument...not a debate), and the avatars go off and perform whatever functions the heads wish them to.
It should be noted that "Druw", from Imbrd's name, is pronounced as "tarowa". This has been misinterpreted as "Troll" (there is no 'L' sound in the Trollish language. There is only a 'W' sound). Due to the fact that Trolls are religious zealots, people picked up on the commonality of the word 'tarowa', and eventually turned it into their name for the race of foul, militaristic creatures: "Trolls".
Instead, Trolls call themselves Da'a Tzdkunratj'okartz. Their language is called Tzdkunratj'okartz Dkonrgh.


Da'a Chewa

Hrrgus

...Hrnrta eara ea tjoch'yanr yatz. Hrrgus, da'a Eya Mg'uonrdk'hryanr Tzdkunratj'okar, pkyaketz! Ia!

The updated version of Hrrgus...

C.

Send in the Trolls

One winter, many, many years ago...Jeff and I came up with an idea for a story. This was the previously mentioned Biskit storyline. After the concept went on hiatus, I decided to do my own tale in that same world---in the same forest. Taking place 10 years after Biskit's tale (which was to be told after his demise). Biskit, now Zwieback, was reputed to have left a vast treasure hidden within the confines of Haelfern Forest (Darkwood!). Whether this was true or not, did not matter, for word quickly spread...where it eventually made its way to the Trolls.
His interest piqued purely through his greed, Hrrgus, the High Mountain Troll, descended to make his long journey to Darkwood.
As Biskit has been reconstituted, so has Hrrgus. In the process of re-exploring his story, I also developed the Trollish language for him and his kin to speak. Example: "Ghadahr tjoch uod'dkhr mgi tjhrka ihr ghhr-tahrmg'ta mgodahrtjok'nrtz. Yamg hr tjokyanr ghuta! Yagr krogk i'hrgr!!!
That's really hard to type. You can speak it, though.
So, the image you see before you is the original Hrrgus design (with his captive, Aric) from about 2002 or so.

And by the way....
Jeff and I took a trip up to Athens, Ga. this past Friday to go to Drew Weing's Set to Sea book release party. It was located at the ever fab Bizarro-Wuxtry comic shop.
It was pretty neat, but alas, the heat got to both Jeff and I VERY, VERY quickly. Apparently I was beginning to turn red...and that was inside the shop! Plus there was a longer than usual car ride up there...
But really, Set to Sea is a cool little book. If you get a chance, check it out and his blog as well. Congrats again, Drew!
http://www.drewweing.com/

...Chew...Chew...Chew...like S.O.S. but not...'...'...'...'...'...

Death a la creme

He skulks in the shadows, relentless and wild
in his search for a tender, delectable child.
With his steely sharp claws and his slavering jaws
oh he's waiting ... just waiting ... to get you

From the Bogeyman by Jack Prelutsky

The legend of the Bogeyman has been around the villages and towns of Messpit for hundreds of years and has been used by parents to scare their children into behaving properly. Tragically, infant death has skyrocketed in recent weeks in the village of Swineford. Is the legend of the Bogeyman true?

The Bogeyman is actually a pack of Bugbears that make their home deep inside Darkwood and venture out for a "snack" every so often. They normally hibernate for most of the year and hunt during the late summer months. Due to an abnormally warm winter, the bugbears have started hunting and feasting early. Easy pickings, until Hippalonia, Warrior Amazon of Nilbrest, is hired by the villagers of Swineford to protect them.

Just because there's a new fellowship with a new mission, doesn't mean former fellowship members have been slacking.

–Jeff Tuffenstuff

Darkest Red, Deepest Night

Deep within the confines of the enchanted Haelfern Forest, otherwise known as Darkwood to many of you, there exists a great many wondrous and/or dangerous creatures. The image you see before you is one such being. This is the dreaded Redcap. It is a ghoulish creature known to murder wayward travelers and dye their hats red with the blood of their victims.
Here, a Redcap is seen sitting on the body of old, fat Friar Phurnighan. Silly man, what was he doing in the woods?
Redcaps are only one of the many dangers lurking around the corners of the forest. Will our hardy band of fellows run into them? Or is this a moot drawing?

Chew

Zwieback, The Dwarf-Lord

So, here he is...Biskit reconstituted as Zwieback.
In this particular image, he is standing on the freshly slain corpse of the Infamous Red Troll of Ragmar (amongst his fellow trolls, he is known as "Tahr Pkatz'rrrta Utj Rrhrgh'mghrrr"). As Zwieback was carving out his empire, he needed to annex a certain Haelfern Forest...that wonderfully enchanted place also known as Darkwood (thought by many to contain great secrets and treasures). The Red Troll claimed himself as king of the forest (which he was obviously not, for he lived some thirty leagues away), so Zwieback did what came naturally to a conquering alpha male bastard. He took down his competition.

Chew

Biscuits in times of duress are good for the soul

I'm not sure if you remember this little guy. Several years ago, Jeff T. and I came up with the Biskit story. This is mentioned in a previous post (from Thursday, January 28, 2010). Biskit was a greedy and malevolent dwarf who was said to have killed his mother, thus causing the ostracization by his brothers and the dwarven community at large. Basically, he sucks and everyone hates him.
Slowly, he built his kingdom, and died leaving behind a vast, untold (and hidden) treasure. Jeff was going to do the writing and I was going to draw it. As things sometimes happen, we were never able to get the project out of the preliminary stage. But...we never forgot it. For a spell, I feared it was dead. That is, until AFTER I made the previous post.
Then I started thinking....Biskit exists in the same world as Carnage Cream. There is an unfulfilled idea out there shared by two people. Why not do something with it after all? Why just let it sit there and die? So, Biskit has been reconstituted as Zwieback, the Dwarf -Lord.

Probably will not be seeing him or his story for a while....but elements of his empire remain strewn throughout the landscape.

chewy

A Carnival of Carnage

Here's another character for the upcoming Carnage Cream II book: it's Mah-Ghoul the Man-Witch of Darkwood. He's in the middle of summoning a demon named Hanzohl, who will help him summon a flying beast named Greytohl. The main difference between witches and wizards is that wizards channel magic and witches are granted powers by the demons they summon. So why is Mah-Ghoul so important? Because in about five years or so he will be the first Man-Witch to coin the term "Warlock." Man-Witches all over the realms will come to use "Warlock" to describe themselves and sound kinda' cool forever after. Yep. That's his claim to fame. Oh, and of course he will have a small run-in with the fellowship. But that's another story ...

You guys should be proud of me for not coming with another awful play on the word cream.

Ugggh ... nnnnh ... Mice-Cream!

Sorry.

– Jeff Tuffenstuff

P.S. It's the 100th Blog Posting. Happy Bloggaversary! I'm drinking a Beer.