"A Musical Trip Through Hell"

What madness has possessed me to watch such a horrid thing? Have I fallen into the depths of some infernal conspiracy that seeks to infect my very soul with the fetid stench of corruption and damnation?
What, oh what is it that has brought this skein of destruction come belching out of the charnel house like some cursed, sticky web? Oh woe unto me, for I am watching that illest of ills....Staying Alive.
What can I say? This baby fell right into my hands! It seemed like a challenge to watch.
In the last 45 of my 36 years on this earth, I fully, honestly, naively believed that TROLL 2 was the crap that walked the land. Boy, I was wrong!
I have seen a lot of bad movies. I have seen tons of awful movies. I have seen a plethora of terrible movies. I have seen MUNCHIES in the theatre.
I have never, until this moment, seen a movie this bloody...damn...awful.
I have stared into that gaping maw of the abyss...and it is ugly!

Along with Troll 2 and Munchies, this is now first on my new unofficial list of "Charnel House Movies"....the worst of the worst.

Go see it NOW!


Chewmeupintolittlepieces

A Carnival of Carnage

Here's another character for the upcoming Carnage Cream II book: it's Mah-Ghoul the Man-Witch of Darkwood. He's in the middle of summoning a demon named Hanzohl, who will help him summon a flying beast named Greytohl. The main difference between witches and wizards is that wizards channel magic and witches are granted powers by the demons they summon. So why is Mah-Ghoul so important? Because in about five years or so he will be the first Man-Witch to coin the term "Warlock." Man-Witches all over the realms will come to use "Warlock" to describe themselves and sound kinda' cool forever after. Yep. That's his claim to fame. Oh, and of course he will have a small run-in with the fellowship. But that's another story ...

You guys should be proud of me for not coming with another awful play on the word cream.

Ugggh ... nnnnh ... Mice-Cream!

Sorry.

– Jeff Tuffenstuff

P.S. It's the 100th Blog Posting. Happy Bloggaversary! I'm drinking a Beer.

Even Ugly Has to Work

I've decided to take a little break from my drawing. My shoulder seems to be aching from working on this piece.
I've seen three movies this past weekend (or, at least, mostly seen three movies). So, I will give you a brief review during my respite.
The first was an old Italian 'giallo' from the early 70's entitled TORSO. For those of you who do not know, the giallos (yellow) were brainy forerunners of the slasher flicks of the 80's. When I mean brainy, I do not necessarily mean smart. I mean, they were highly over-the-top films with overly convoluted plots. Usually, hard to figure out what's going on, who's killing who, lots of red herrings, and a background story about the killer's motivations that seemingly come out of nowhere. You probably wo'nt be able to figure out what's happening until the very end (except for the fact that tons o' folks get offed). Torso is no exception to this description. It was very controversial at the time, and is not known as one of the better ones of the genre. However, something about it appealed to me. For one thing, it kept making me want to watch THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE (which is no gem, itself...but fun). Torso also came to represent a sort of death of the freewheeling 60's, which I found fascinating. It's definitely a forerunner of the American-styled slasher flicks (i.e. sex=death). Not really recommended for many of you. Borrow it.
Second, I went to see THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO in the theatre. This is a Swedish film. Since I have been living in a cave and stopped watching television, I never saw a preview, let alone heard about this movie or the books it was based off of (it's a trilogy, published posthumously after the author's death of heart attack at 50), I did'nt know what to expect. This is the first film in a trilogy (all of the films are finished now, but we in the U.S. have to wait a while). I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed this film. I was totally in the dark on it and I think I enjoyed it more for that reason (although, it is pretty good in its own right).
Interestingly, this movie was being shown at the theatre where FLUKE was being held. Jeff mentioned it to me and we marveled over the poster as we were waiting to get inside. Highly recommended. Except for illiterates.
The last is a work in process. I rented MACUMBA SEXUAL by the awesome/awful Jess Franco! It's basically a reworking of that tidy little number, Franco's earlier VAMPYROS LESBOS (the soundtrack is really good). This time, instead of a vampire seducing a thick German girl, it's a transexual voodoo priestess seducing a thick Spanish girl (in-famous Lina Romay, for those of you not in the know. Do'nt look any of her images up at your work computers!!!!).
Time being as it is, I have only been able to make it halfway through the flick. I am enjoying it thus far. Recommended for only perverts and sadocinemasochists. Enjoy!
Next on my list? SWEET MOVIE and SALO, OR THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM (again)! Let the pain continue!
ciao, mon amis...

A Fistful of Cream

Rootbeard the Ranger hates Curmites. They're foul green slimy nuisances with an appetite for livestock. I would love to say that this picture has something to do with Carnage Cream: Part Deux. It doesn't. I just like drawing Rootbeard.

Rootbeard, Carnage and Cream. Goes together like PB&J. Yummy.

– Jeff Tuffenstuff

The Night on Blood Mountain

Sorry, I really did'nt spend the night on Blood mountain, although I did drive up and down the thing. Actually, I stayed at a place close to Rocky Mountain. It was at a camp with an organic farm, which I actually did not get to visit because there was a band of small children blocking my path. Remembering Lord of the Flies, and not being a fan of children, much less people, in general, I went in the opposite direction up to see a trout pond. The trout said nicer things to me than the children would have.
This was my vacation to North Georgia, in my modest attempts to get out of Central Georgia. I had to get back into the mountains again. To see rapid inclines and declinations...to see odd, oversized tourists with their jeans tucked into their cowboy boots...to see quaint, not-so-German-German villages in the high north of Georgia (which, thankfully, I drove through and did not exit my car). I do'nt do well with tourists, either. Which is why I ended up where I ended up.
There, I was able to start and ALMOST finish the novel Kornwolf by Tristan Egolf. Not great, but really enjoyable. A little filthy and anarchic and totally manic book. Recommended to only a few of you. If you like Chuck Palahniuk, you might like this. Over the top, outrageous, and good for my brain...which was totally hellbent (against my desires) to relax, not do any work, sketching, drawing, painting, THINKING, writing, planning, scheming, collecting, et cetera, ad infinitum.
So I hiked, drove around N.GA, slept in laaaaate, and read.
It was a great little vacation! I was able to get out on the Appalachian Trail and tromp around on some strenuous switchbacks. I even saw bearsigns. Me, by my lonesome coming across ground that has been upended with bear spoor in the trail is not the most pleasing of prospects. From the tracks left behind (paw prints sans any claw marks) and what appeared to be snout marks (!!!!), I determined that it was probably a small black bear that had been rooting around the trail sometime during the night or morning. You better believe I picked up a stick for walking and defense! Luckily, that was as close as I came to the bears.
I saw many odd little creatures on my walk. Dozens of tiny little white butterfies, one big fat squirrel, large millipedes (two varieties: one black with yellow markings, the other black with pink and white), very large trail snails, something green and slimy, a massive orange cup fungus which looked like a pumpkin that exploded, a halo of gnats and flies and one very tempestuous deerfly.
I was only up there for a couple of days, but it was worth it. I've been locked away in the studio in the couple days since my return. I've got a new series of large drawings (idioplasts, if you'll recall) that I've started. Once I get back to work, J. and I will get back to the CREAM. I know that sounds bad, and I meant it to be, but it really is'nt what you think it may be, dear perverts, but then if you're a regular, you'll know what it is that I speak of. Speaking of...which...the Carnage Creamatorium made me want to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy again, as well as the Gormanghast series...
Being on the mountain has made me want to watch Valerie and Her Week of Wonders. Too much to do since I've been back! I still need to finish reading my damn book!
Oh bless me, I just sneezed.

Chewmeupagainintotinylittlepiecesbecausei'mfunnythatway

Creamy Encounter

Okay, the title of today's post is a little disturbing. Not that its meant to be. We are dealing with the second issue of Carnage Cream after all. Chew and I developing the story and although he is currently on vacation ... well, that doesn't stop me from drawing the minions that we will meet throughout the creamy realms. Enter ... Hilz Klayfoot. He's a lone centaur who has escaped from the clutches of his clan's greatest enemy. He needs help. Perhaps maybe and/or possibly the fellowship will come to the rescue?

Or will there be bloodshed and carnage?

Will I find a way to stop myself from coming up with other corny uses of the words "cream" and "carnage?"

Find out next week. Same blog. Same creamy time.

– Jeff Tuffenstuff

Well, it is the first day of my spring vacation! I am already on my second cup of coffee and have been in the studio working on one of my paintings. It is a 6 foot by 8 foot canvas that is part of a series revolving around a tornado that hit the street that I live on. Since the recent inclusion of yellow to my palette (a previously hated and untouched color), I have found that I'm able to generate some uniquely obnoxious colors. This seems to have been a missing ingredient for my paintings. Yellow. Who'da thought???
I needed to take a little break from the comics and paint a bit. I put in a lot of intensive mental power earlier this week on the Black Worm. Trying to figure a few things out, fix a couple of snags...you know. Marcolm and I have also been working on our Carnage Cream II tale (as we have been having meetings to brainstorm and plan the book). I must say, this looks like it's going to be a huge project. But as daunting as it appears, I am very excited about its possibilities.
Well, that's it now from the land of the GLOB. I'm off to paint!

Chew
S